in the vacant lot
stale and stagnant
a tiny tear falls
put away for safe keeping
she knows it is hers
lying still till sadness calls
her luring voice
sensitive and sweet
invites herself to the vacant lot
familiar, heavy, unwelcomed but strong
forces peace to leave and sits snug in her spot.
she imitates goodness
and fools me to believe
her binding lies of reason
a striking manner to deceive.
who is this thief who has stolen my hope
the voice singing of sorrow and despair
you will find her dwelling deep in my lot
-but I didn't invite her there-
you are not welcome and you will not stay
I'll know next time you call.
piss off 'sadness',
I won't prepare a bed for you
I'll just let the tears fall.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
touchy topic
Is it racism? Or culturism? Or socio-economicism? How about locationism?
When I tell people about my plans to go north and teach in an aboriginal community, they usually respond one of two ways...
1. 'That's awesome.'
Or
2. 'Why?'
There have been quite a few negative comments thrown my way by close friends recently..
"why would you bother living with people who will treat you like shit no matter how hard you try to fit in?"
"they are dirty and rude-you won't last"
"surely you could have found a job somewhere else?"
Now, I'm not naive..I know this is going to be a challenge.. And I know that the culture is going to shock me.. But these comments are made with a vicious undertone of judgement and ...anger?
Similar things have been said by supportive friends and I've felt encouraged. It isn't so much the words, it is the intention of their impact.
I'm not too bothered by the amount of negative feedback I've received because it is massively outweighed by the support and positive comments, but it just makes we wonder..
I honestly don't think it is all racism..I think people would make the same comments if I said I was moving to a prodominently non-aboriginal community in the same location...same economic background and population size. Obviously there is also an element of racism too. It worries me that it is acceptable in our culture to make these comments, and that it is almost unacceptable to dispute them.
In my opinion - every community in the world has its challenges. I am looking forward to enveloping myself in a culture I'm yet to experience... challenging as it may be.
Thanks to those who are supportive..
And bigger thanks to those who aren't- because you are reinforcing how important it is that I go.. and your comments just make it easier for me to leave.
When I tell people about my plans to go north and teach in an aboriginal community, they usually respond one of two ways...
1. 'That's awesome.'
Or
2. 'Why?'
There have been quite a few negative comments thrown my way by close friends recently..
"why would you bother living with people who will treat you like shit no matter how hard you try to fit in?"
"they are dirty and rude-you won't last"
"surely you could have found a job somewhere else?"
Now, I'm not naive..I know this is going to be a challenge.. And I know that the culture is going to shock me.. But these comments are made with a vicious undertone of judgement and ...anger?
Similar things have been said by supportive friends and I've felt encouraged. It isn't so much the words, it is the intention of their impact.
I'm not too bothered by the amount of negative feedback I've received because it is massively outweighed by the support and positive comments, but it just makes we wonder..
I honestly don't think it is all racism..I think people would make the same comments if I said I was moving to a prodominently non-aboriginal community in the same location...same economic background and population size. Obviously there is also an element of racism too. It worries me that it is acceptable in our culture to make these comments, and that it is almost unacceptable to dispute them.
In my opinion - every community in the world has its challenges. I am looking forward to enveloping myself in a culture I'm yet to experience... challenging as it may be.
Thanks to those who are supportive..
And bigger thanks to those who aren't- because you are reinforcing how important it is that I go.. and your comments just make it easier for me to leave.
Friday, November 20, 2009
2002
It is a mystery how I manage to forget or temporarily misplace memories that hold the reasons and ways I have become who I am in this moment.
In 2002 I had my life planned out. I was going to become a farmer's wife with lots of kids and take over MrFriends dads farm.
MrFriend was my closest mate. An innocent teenage companionship between two friends longing to be grown up and mature enough to make our own decisions, but not ready to embrace maturity. Neither of us were looking to live the Christian dream of getting hitched by 20 and popping out the first by 21..we were just keen to hang at the river and kick balls along the beach. My favourite memory was riding 4WDs around the farm and chasing cows around the paddocks.
A leader in our church decided to spook us out by making us watch DVDs about not kissing until you are married etc.. And suddenly our innocent friendship became awkward. Bit by bit it all fell apart. We were never in love-but we did love each other a lot. Looking back, it seems the simple suggestion of us being more than friends tore our relationship apart. Damn.
I forgot all about MrFriend until recently..it's been years since I thought about him. He is married now. To a friend of mine. I'm glad for him...but more glad for myself that I didn't end up being a farmers wife.
Strange, slightly awkward, and rather pointless blog post..but I just thought I'd share.
In 2002 I had my life planned out. I was going to become a farmer's wife with lots of kids and take over MrFriends dads farm.
MrFriend was my closest mate. An innocent teenage companionship between two friends longing to be grown up and mature enough to make our own decisions, but not ready to embrace maturity. Neither of us were looking to live the Christian dream of getting hitched by 20 and popping out the first by 21..we were just keen to hang at the river and kick balls along the beach. My favourite memory was riding 4WDs around the farm and chasing cows around the paddocks.
A leader in our church decided to spook us out by making us watch DVDs about not kissing until you are married etc.. And suddenly our innocent friendship became awkward. Bit by bit it all fell apart. We were never in love-but we did love each other a lot. Looking back, it seems the simple suggestion of us being more than friends tore our relationship apart. Damn.
I forgot all about MrFriend until recently..it's been years since I thought about him. He is married now. To a friend of mine. I'm glad for him...but more glad for myself that I didn't end up being a farmers wife.
Strange, slightly awkward, and rather pointless blog post..but I just thought I'd share.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
stones
So.. Jesus goes for a walk along a stony road with his disciples and tells them each to pick up a stone to carry. John picks up a large one and carries this, while Peter picks the smallest stone to carry. Smart idea? Well.. I guess he wasn't struggling to carry it.. and he was still obeying the commandment of Jesus, right? John, however, chose the big heffa stone to carry and is most likely struggling to lug the over sized chunk of Earth with him. I can just imagine them walking along the road.. Peter probably slipped his stone into his pocket or playfully tossed it as he walked along the road, whilst John sweats and aches carrying the large stone. They get to a point where they are hungry and tired from their walk and Jesus says 'stones..turn into bread' and bamshabam each of the stones carried by the disciples turns into bread. Obviously Peter's stone being small is not enough to satisfy him, so John shares some of his with him. Jesus then says, 'lads, choose another stone, we are going to walk again'... so Peter, feeling as though he has this all worked out and knows how the game runs chooses a massive stone. He struggles along carrying the stone believing the at the end of the walk he will be rewarded for his efforts. When they stop, Jesus says 'throw your stones in the river' and Peter is left dumbfounded. I can imagine his frustration and confusion, because he had struggled to carry this stone all the way and then WHAT THE?!?! What good is a stone thrown in the river?? Jesus turns to Peter and says 'Who did you carry this stone for? For me?... or for yourself?'
SO many times in offering sermons I hear the same old, 'God doesn't need your money, but what a blessing it is to give to him! Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Isn't it wonderful knowing that our offerings are refunded ten fold?! Let's give church, lets give give GIVE'.
Yes - cool.. give ten percent.. that is great.. but if our motives for giving aren't 100% out of pure desire to give without the expectation of receiving.. then surely we are being just like Peter was that day on the stony road? If we carry a heavy load in life expecting that blessing will follow... and aren't prepared to carry that same load purely because it has been asked of us.. aren't we doing a Peter? I believe God blesses. No doubt about it. But I don't believe we can earn his blessing or his favour. It is already there. We can't become MORE blessed.. we just become more aware of our blessings. He doesn't favour or love us more according to what we do.. we just learn to recognise his love. I feel most blessed when my attitude is 100% for the kingdom. Let me define what I mean by 'blessed'... I'm not talking an extra $100 in my pay packet, or winning a small lottery, or being given gifts, or anything human in fact.. When I think of blessing, I think of that indescribable feeling/knowing that I am connected to God in a way I simply can not explain. Somehow, in the times I am fighting against a million blows and burns coming at me, I feel most blessed. There is power in knowing that I am capable of forgiveness in the most unforgiving circumstances, that my heart attitude towards life's blows and burns is what gives me reason to carry the stone..
I stuff up. All the time. I say 'yes..erm.. it is ok that I am struggling with this now because I know it will all work out and I will be so much better off because of it and wow, how much is God going to bless me after this!?'... it is quite a common thought pattern. I think back to the stony road. Hope is good. And Peter hoping for a nice chunk of bread at the end of the road is fine.. in fact it is great.. hoping in God for fulfillment and blessing is wonderful.. but simply living knowing that you are blessed already, and that you don't need to earn it, that is when you carry that heavy stone without even considering opting for the smaller one. That is how I want to live.
Just a thought.
SO many times in offering sermons I hear the same old, 'God doesn't need your money, but what a blessing it is to give to him! Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Isn't it wonderful knowing that our offerings are refunded ten fold?! Let's give church, lets give give GIVE'.
Yes - cool.. give ten percent.. that is great.. but if our motives for giving aren't 100% out of pure desire to give without the expectation of receiving.. then surely we are being just like Peter was that day on the stony road? If we carry a heavy load in life expecting that blessing will follow... and aren't prepared to carry that same load purely because it has been asked of us.. aren't we doing a Peter? I believe God blesses. No doubt about it. But I don't believe we can earn his blessing or his favour. It is already there. We can't become MORE blessed.. we just become more aware of our blessings. He doesn't favour or love us more according to what we do.. we just learn to recognise his love. I feel most blessed when my attitude is 100% for the kingdom. Let me define what I mean by 'blessed'... I'm not talking an extra $100 in my pay packet, or winning a small lottery, or being given gifts, or anything human in fact.. When I think of blessing, I think of that indescribable feeling/knowing that I am connected to God in a way I simply can not explain. Somehow, in the times I am fighting against a million blows and burns coming at me, I feel most blessed. There is power in knowing that I am capable of forgiveness in the most unforgiving circumstances, that my heart attitude towards life's blows and burns is what gives me reason to carry the stone..
I stuff up. All the time. I say 'yes..erm.. it is ok that I am struggling with this now because I know it will all work out and I will be so much better off because of it and wow, how much is God going to bless me after this!?'... it is quite a common thought pattern. I think back to the stony road. Hope is good. And Peter hoping for a nice chunk of bread at the end of the road is fine.. in fact it is great.. hoping in God for fulfillment and blessing is wonderful.. but simply living knowing that you are blessed already, and that you don't need to earn it, that is when you carry that heavy stone without even considering opting for the smaller one. That is how I want to live.
Just a thought.
Monday, November 9, 2009
I said a bad word
A series of events filled my day, each with their own unique style of ruining my optimism. I was pissed off. So angry at the world and I wanted to tell everyone just how mad I was, but I didn't want to talk to anyone...so that made it a little hard for me. I ended up sprawled out on my bed staring at a tiny spider crawling along my window. I stayed there for hours just letting my thoughts pass into a haze of ignorance and denial. I didn't feel angry in that state, just numb. I felt no sadness and no worry. I love that our minds have the ability to escape our feelings.. At least long enough to calm down and wait long enough for the dust to settle. Today was crap. Tomorrow will probably reflect and respond to today's happenings...who knows? I'm not about to pretend that my life is meant to be peachy. It's not.
A friend told me today she thought I'd had above and beyond my fair share of 'bleh' moments...and that life doesn't seem to deal them out equally. It's strange, because even though she sees my life as being unfairly overindulged in rubbishy events, I still feel like I've got it good and often wish I could take some of someone elses problems on behalf of them because I don't think it is dealt out fair. Bizaarro.
A part of me is glad to have trials. A very small part. But a part. I'm choosing to tap into that miniscule part of me and try to enlarge it for the sake of my character. I know that trials are opportunities to extend myself and amplify my faith, I'm just not sure I have wired the amp right, and wouldn't want to blow a fuse.
A friend told me today she thought I'd had above and beyond my fair share of 'bleh' moments...and that life doesn't seem to deal them out equally. It's strange, because even though she sees my life as being unfairly overindulged in rubbishy events, I still feel like I've got it good and often wish I could take some of someone elses problems on behalf of them because I don't think it is dealt out fair. Bizaarro.
A part of me is glad to have trials. A very small part. But a part. I'm choosing to tap into that miniscule part of me and try to enlarge it for the sake of my character. I know that trials are opportunities to extend myself and amplify my faith, I'm just not sure I have wired the amp right, and wouldn't want to blow a fuse.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
teachinthekimberley.blogspot.com/
www.teachinthekimberley.blogspot.com/ is the link to my new blog (Walkabout), purely dedicated to stories about my experiences teaching in the Kimberley. This blog (Welcome to the Misconception) will remain one for all other blog posts not relating to my teaching experiences. I decided to create Walkabout for my friends and family to stay in touch with what I am up to, and also because I think it would be helpful for future Kimberley bound teachers to have a read. So subscribe.. read.. and enjoy.
Corrie.
Corrie.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Berlin Wall Irony
Fans hoping to glimpse U2's free concert celebrating 20 years since the Berlin Wall fell were outraged Thursday to find that a 12-foot (3.6-meter) metal barrier was installed to block the view for those without tickets.
Both Berliners and tourists alike saw the irony in building a wall around a concert dedicated to the wall that has already come down.
"It's completely ridiculous that they are blocking the view," said Louis-Pierre Boily, 23, who came to Berlin even though he failed to get U2 tickets. "I thought it's a free show, but MTV probably wants people to watch it on TV to get their ratings up."
Boily, from Quebec City, was among several hundred people who gathered Thursday against the new fence, which was draped with a white tarp that blocked the view of the stage from the street. Some fans were already trying to tear down the tarp before the concert, which was being held in front of Berlin's iconic Brandenburg Gate.
The music network MTV, which organized Thursday's concert, said it worked with the local promoter, the city and Berlin police to install a temporary fence "around the site to ensure the safety and security of the attendees at the event as well as residents and businesses in the area."
U2's publicist RMP refused comment about the barrier.
Some 10,000 tickets were made available online for the Irish rockers' free show — and they were snapped up in just three hours.
U2 was performing four songs but only one song was being shown later on television Thursday as part of MTV's European Music Awards, according to MTV.
The Berlin Wall fell on Nov. 9, 1989, ending almost 30 years of Cold War division between the communist East and the democratic West.
Throughout those decades, the Brandenburg Gate stood just inside East Berlin. In 1988, musicians such as Pink Floyd and Michael Jackson performed in a three-day "Berlin Rock Marathon" on the western side of the concrete barrier, with the landmark as a backdrop.
Concertgoers in the West hurled bottles and firebombs at the wall, while some 2,000 youths gathered on the eastern side to listen, many shouting "The wall must go!"
Both Berliners and tourists alike saw the irony in building a wall around a concert dedicated to the wall that has already come down.
"It's completely ridiculous that they are blocking the view," said Louis-Pierre Boily, 23, who came to Berlin even though he failed to get U2 tickets. "I thought it's a free show, but MTV probably wants people to watch it on TV to get their ratings up."
Boily, from Quebec City, was among several hundred people who gathered Thursday against the new fence, which was draped with a white tarp that blocked the view of the stage from the street. Some fans were already trying to tear down the tarp before the concert, which was being held in front of Berlin's iconic Brandenburg Gate.
The music network MTV, which organized Thursday's concert, said it worked with the local promoter, the city and Berlin police to install a temporary fence "around the site to ensure the safety and security of the attendees at the event as well as residents and businesses in the area."
U2's publicist RMP refused comment about the barrier.
Some 10,000 tickets were made available online for the Irish rockers' free show — and they were snapped up in just three hours.
U2 was performing four songs but only one song was being shown later on television Thursday as part of MTV's European Music Awards, according to MTV.
The Berlin Wall fell on Nov. 9, 1989, ending almost 30 years of Cold War division between the communist East and the democratic West.
Throughout those decades, the Brandenburg Gate stood just inside East Berlin. In 1988, musicians such as Pink Floyd and Michael Jackson performed in a three-day "Berlin Rock Marathon" on the western side of the concrete barrier, with the landmark as a backdrop.
Concertgoers in the West hurled bottles and firebombs at the wall, while some 2,000 youths gathered on the eastern side to listen, many shouting "The wall must go!"
Saturday, October 17, 2009
grade 2
know that this is complicated
a puzzle with no pattern
no picture or straight edges
and I don't hold the plan
easiest pieces first
the corners set in place
but know that this is complicated
because I still can't see your face
looking for the bigger picture
in the mess spread across the table
task deemed impossible
without guidance I'm not able
but it is all there...the picture
every piece that is needed
know that this is complicated
it seems looking won't help me see it
a puzzle with no pattern
no picture or straight edges
and I don't hold the plan
easiest pieces first
the corners set in place
but know that this is complicated
because I still can't see your face
looking for the bigger picture
in the mess spread across the table
task deemed impossible
without guidance I'm not able
but it is all there...the picture
every piece that is needed
know that this is complicated
it seems looking won't help me see it
Thursday, October 15, 2009
im not a stoner
Last night I dreamt that I downloaded an application on my iPhone that let me smoke weed at any time...just put your lips on the screen and take a chuff.
I dreamt that I was sitting next to my mum at the family house I grew up in and I took a chuff. She asked me what I was doing and I had to confess to her. I was so upset!
It's strange. It actually felt pretty awesome in my dream. It was so real. I woke up and considered not going to work because I was worried you could smell it on me and that I was still under the influence. I felt so bad about it too!
Haha strange. I put it down to watching The Mighty Boosh before bed and drifting off to sleep while listening to 'The Drugs Dont Work'.
***I do not take drugs or condone the use of illicit drugs unless in a dream because that is actually pretty bonkers***
I dreamt that I was sitting next to my mum at the family house I grew up in and I took a chuff. She asked me what I was doing and I had to confess to her. I was so upset!
It's strange. It actually felt pretty awesome in my dream. It was so real. I woke up and considered not going to work because I was worried you could smell it on me and that I was still under the influence. I felt so bad about it too!
Haha strange. I put it down to watching The Mighty Boosh before bed and drifting off to sleep while listening to 'The Drugs Dont Work'.
***I do not take drugs or condone the use of illicit drugs unless in a dream because that is actually pretty bonkers***
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
heat of the moment
So I've decided after today's classroom antics that I am...
1. Not getting married.
2. Not having children.
3. Never teaching highschool grades again.
Over and out.
1. Not getting married.
2. Not having children.
3. Never teaching highschool grades again.
Over and out.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
LIOR - I'LL FORGET YOU
I like this song a lot. Mainly the lyrics, but it has a catchy tune and quite a sweet little melody that is sung by Lior and Sia together. I like it :)
I left you out
Inside my heart
How easily
This could be the start
And rip my life apart
Like a bowerbird collecting blue
See me gather words
To let you know
It's hard to let this go
But I'm making up my mind
I'll forget you in time
You still make me cry
Like a song of the east
That loses its centre
But always finds its way back home
How this bird has flown
So I'm making up my mind
Gonna rescue myself tonight
Yeah I'm making up my mind
I'll forget you in time
I am leaving you
You are leaving me
We've sung our song
And we chose to roll on
Although this love never fades
It's time to forget the road we never travelled along
So I've made up my mind
Gonna rescue myself tonight
Yeah I've made up my mind
I'll forget you in time.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
high fives and smiles
six thirty we gather
high fives and banter
she's got a new headband
and he's rockin the raybans
loud 'yo bros' and flashy smiles
greeting strangers in youthy style
everyone is impressed with the funky coloured lights
the girls on the stage in short skirts and tights
high fashions roll, the leaders are blingin'
the moshing gets pumpin' as the band gets singin'
hands held high and voices shouting
everyone's up the front and the 'praise pit' is bouncin'
adrenaline rush as the concert begins
everyone cheers when the pop song ends
slow down the tempo and forget the jumping
this slow synthy tune is serious worship or something
the keys keep twinkling right through his talk
the carpet wears a hole from his back and forward walk
his language is hip and he's holding the book
this guy must be alright because he's got the look
clap, clap, clap and cheer and banter
service is over - time for pizza and fanta
high fives and banter
she's got a new headband
and he's rockin the raybans
loud 'yo bros' and flashy smiles
greeting strangers in youthy style
everyone is impressed with the funky coloured lights
the girls on the stage in short skirts and tights
high fashions roll, the leaders are blingin'
the moshing gets pumpin' as the band gets singin'
hands held high and voices shouting
everyone's up the front and the 'praise pit' is bouncin'
adrenaline rush as the concert begins
everyone cheers when the pop song ends
slow down the tempo and forget the jumping
this slow synthy tune is serious worship or something
the keys keep twinkling right through his talk
the carpet wears a hole from his back and forward walk
his language is hip and he's holding the book
this guy must be alright because he's got the look
clap, clap, clap and cheer and banter
service is over - time for pizza and fanta
Thursday, October 8, 2009
the universal language
so they say that music is a universal language.. but obviously some styles/artists appeal to people in different ways. Lately I have been indulging in new musical goodness as opposed to my couple of months recently where I was content just listening to old stuff and had no real desire to buy a new album. I love my CD collection for its randomness and almost embarrassing selection of tunes. It tells a story about my musical appreciation journey..the things I listened to along the way that have lead me to loving music the way I do.
So I thought I might enlighten you with some of my most recent musical loving.
A band out of France called Pheonix are my current favourite. They use a lot of synth coupled with odd but catchy beats and a very unique vocal sound that glides over the complex synth action going on. They use a lot of tempo and timing techniques that intertwine to create depth to a rather simplistic melody. It is quite fascinating to listen to the way different timing and tempo is used for different synth parts in unity...strange but good.
then there is this guy who sells himself as Bon Iver which means 'Good Winter' in French (I'm sensing a French theme) but this guy is from Canada? I think? Anyway, he wrote his most recent album after a breakup with 1.his band and 2. His girlfriend. The album is called For Emma, Forever Ago. It is beautiful. It is acoustic based with stacks of vocal multitracking and a lot of random sounds thrown in that create a very emotional and touching theme. Bon Iver is an artist that I appreciate for his ability to write a good song and portray his emotions brilliantly through that medium, not so much for musical genius.
MuteMath - wow. I won't go down the line of trying to use words to describe them..just buy the album. Armistice. It is fab.
Now for a talent that I am looking forward to further releases from. Florence and the Machine out if London. She has an awesome voice and I love her style but she is quite new on the scene and although I do appreciate her music I am more excited about things to come. Worth a looky if you are into jazzy but poppy but soulful female vocal greatness.
Muse - hmmmm. I should be careful with this one because I know there are a lot of diehard fans out and about who are loving their 2009 release but for me personally I am quite disappointed. I am not too sure what I expected but I didn't expect Bellamy to be Beyoncè. Granted, they are still Muse and haven't 'lost' their brilliance...they just didn't really infuse it into this latest release.
And that brings me to the end of my blab.
So I thought I might enlighten you with some of my most recent musical loving.
A band out of France called Pheonix are my current favourite. They use a lot of synth coupled with odd but catchy beats and a very unique vocal sound that glides over the complex synth action going on. They use a lot of tempo and timing techniques that intertwine to create depth to a rather simplistic melody. It is quite fascinating to listen to the way different timing and tempo is used for different synth parts in unity...strange but good.
then there is this guy who sells himself as Bon Iver which means 'Good Winter' in French (I'm sensing a French theme) but this guy is from Canada? I think? Anyway, he wrote his most recent album after a breakup with 1.his band and 2. His girlfriend. The album is called For Emma, Forever Ago. It is beautiful. It is acoustic based with stacks of vocal multitracking and a lot of random sounds thrown in that create a very emotional and touching theme. Bon Iver is an artist that I appreciate for his ability to write a good song and portray his emotions brilliantly through that medium, not so much for musical genius.
MuteMath - wow. I won't go down the line of trying to use words to describe them..just buy the album. Armistice. It is fab.
Now for a talent that I am looking forward to further releases from. Florence and the Machine out if London. She has an awesome voice and I love her style but she is quite new on the scene and although I do appreciate her music I am more excited about things to come. Worth a looky if you are into jazzy but poppy but soulful female vocal greatness.
Muse - hmmmm. I should be careful with this one because I know there are a lot of diehard fans out and about who are loving their 2009 release but for me personally I am quite disappointed. I am not too sure what I expected but I didn't expect Bellamy to be Beyoncè. Granted, they are still Muse and haven't 'lost' their brilliance...they just didn't really infuse it into this latest release.
And that brings me to the end of my blab.
gifts
I love gifts. Giving and receiving. When I give a gift I think a lot about what I would like to bless someone with -big or small- it is something I have lots of fun doing. Tonight I got a gift in the mail from a friend back home. It was so heartfelt in that I could tell a lot of thought had gone into it -coupled with a handmade card- it made me feel so special :-)
It was a copy of the book, 'Seven Seasons in Aurukuu'...a story about time spent living and teaching in a remote aboriginal school. How exciting! The picture on the cover brought tears to my eyes. I know I am doing what my heart is demanding by going to Yiyili. My emotions react so strongly with the things I have been reading as preparation and I am becoming more and more certain of my choice being a positive one! I was scared, and didn't really want to follow through (not scared of there...scared of leaving here) but now I am feeling affirmed in my decision and the encouragement from friends has made a huge impact on me. It really hit me last weekend just how much humans need each other. I will expand more on this in future posts.
Until such a time,
Goodnight x
It was a copy of the book, 'Seven Seasons in Aurukuu'...a story about time spent living and teaching in a remote aboriginal school. How exciting! The picture on the cover brought tears to my eyes. I know I am doing what my heart is demanding by going to Yiyili. My emotions react so strongly with the things I have been reading as preparation and I am becoming more and more certain of my choice being a positive one! I was scared, and didn't really want to follow through (not scared of there...scared of leaving here) but now I am feeling affirmed in my decision and the encouragement from friends has made a huge impact on me. It really hit me last weekend just how much humans need each other. I will expand more on this in future posts.
Until such a time,
Goodnight x
Sunday, October 4, 2009
mission: solo
It seems whenever there is change or transition I like to go solo in figuring out my next moves. It's habit I think, and I also believe I'm not alone in this, that I go for as long as possible on my own mission to fill the gaps in my story so I know things will be ok tomorrow.. instead of trusting now and forever.
The 'now' bit is alright for me.. I have no worries taking each moment of each day and trusting it to God but when it comes to the forever part..I start filling my 'now' with worries about 'forever'.
The proverbs talk about a lot of things...mainly wisdom in living out a faithful life. I don't usually like to separate verses from their chapter or book (to maintain context) but this one kind of speaks for itself anyway..
Proverbs 3:5-6.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
I like this verse because it reminds me that we are all on our own paths (plural) and that they are indeed OUR paths that he will straighten. It makes me wonder exactly what the metaphor for a 'straight path' is referring to..it is often interpreted as being 'righteous and without sin', or in the more religious sense of doing all the right things to get into heaven... but I wonder if it is perhaps suggesting something more literal, and more practical. I don't know, and I haven't thought about it enough to make a call but all I do know is that no matter what 'straight' means, God is making my paths that way and I'm up for that.
I get caught up in thinking it's so terrifying to make decisions because I might be stuffing up my destiny...how selfish of me! I spend so much time worrying about the decisions I'm making that I don't get out and let myself be used. And if I look at my life so far..I never really chose to do the things I've done or have the passions I have..they have just become a part of my life.
My friend said this to me on the weekend, and it has stuck: "too many Christians worry so much about what they are meant to do to the point where they end they end up doing nothing."
I don't want to get to heaven and have God say "well done good and not-so-faithful servant."
When I think of the word "faithful" I think of 'loyal' and 'obedient', but when you look at the word, these things are merely fruits of faithfulness.
Faith= being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.
Therefore, faithful= living that out = acknowledging your beliefs in everything you do = proverbs 3:5-6.
'nuff said.
The 'now' bit is alright for me.. I have no worries taking each moment of each day and trusting it to God but when it comes to the forever part..I start filling my 'now' with worries about 'forever'.
The proverbs talk about a lot of things...mainly wisdom in living out a faithful life. I don't usually like to separate verses from their chapter or book (to maintain context) but this one kind of speaks for itself anyway..
Proverbs 3:5-6.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
I like this verse because it reminds me that we are all on our own paths (plural) and that they are indeed OUR paths that he will straighten. It makes me wonder exactly what the metaphor for a 'straight path' is referring to..it is often interpreted as being 'righteous and without sin', or in the more religious sense of doing all the right things to get into heaven... but I wonder if it is perhaps suggesting something more literal, and more practical. I don't know, and I haven't thought about it enough to make a call but all I do know is that no matter what 'straight' means, God is making my paths that way and I'm up for that.
I get caught up in thinking it's so terrifying to make decisions because I might be stuffing up my destiny...how selfish of me! I spend so much time worrying about the decisions I'm making that I don't get out and let myself be used. And if I look at my life so far..I never really chose to do the things I've done or have the passions I have..they have just become a part of my life.
My friend said this to me on the weekend, and it has stuck: "too many Christians worry so much about what they are meant to do to the point where they end they end up doing nothing."
I don't want to get to heaven and have God say "well done good and not-so-faithful servant."
When I think of the word "faithful" I think of 'loyal' and 'obedient', but when you look at the word, these things are merely fruits of faithfulness.
Faith= being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.
Therefore, faithful= living that out = acknowledging your beliefs in everything you do = proverbs 3:5-6.
'nuff said.
last leg
So...I've been on holidays for the past two weeks but it feels like about 3 months. I go back to work tomorrow and I'm almost positive that as soon as I arrive I will feel like I had no holiday at all.
I love my job but I feel like I've already left. The past 2 weeks have been spent doing two things
1. Relaxing/traveling
2. Preparing to leave in 3 months.
In my head I'm already there...so going back to work for another 10 weeks is painful!
On the upside, this holiday has been very productive. I had a great time away, satisfied my craving for adventure (for now), scored the job, finished reading my book, caught up with all the people I have been missing because work takes up too much time AND I even started clearing out my junk and giving away loads of things I will never need.
So my plans at this point in time are to teach for a year minimum at Yiyili and travel as much as I can during the breaks. I would still love to move to Romania and get to see Lietchtenstein at some point..whether that is in the next 5 years or the next 50 I don't know..and I'm ok with that :)
I love my job but I feel like I've already left. The past 2 weeks have been spent doing two things
1. Relaxing/traveling
2. Preparing to leave in 3 months.
In my head I'm already there...so going back to work for another 10 weeks is painful!
On the upside, this holiday has been very productive. I had a great time away, satisfied my craving for adventure (for now), scored the job, finished reading my book, caught up with all the people I have been missing because work takes up too much time AND I even started clearing out my junk and giving away loads of things I will never need.
So my plans at this point in time are to teach for a year minimum at Yiyili and travel as much as I can during the breaks. I would still love to move to Romania and get to see Lietchtenstein at some point..whether that is in the next 5 years or the next 50 I don't know..and I'm ok with that :)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
zodicrap
Why do people search for the answers in their zodiac signs? A close friend of mine finds identity in knowing she is a Libra. She says reading her signs each week gives her a heads up and stability.
Two thousand years ago the night sky looked completely different, and so when you get right down to it, the Greek conceptions of star signs as related to birth dates are grossly inaccurate for today's day and age. It's called the line of procession: back then the sun didn't set in Taurus, but in Gemini. A September 24 birthday didn't mean you were a Libra, but a Virgo. And there was a thirteenth zodiac constellation, Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer, which rose between Saggitarius and Scorpio for only four days.
The reason it's all off kilter? The earths axis wobbles. Life isn't nearly as stable as we want it to be.
Two thousand years ago the night sky looked completely different, and so when you get right down to it, the Greek conceptions of star signs as related to birth dates are grossly inaccurate for today's day and age. It's called the line of procession: back then the sun didn't set in Taurus, but in Gemini. A September 24 birthday didn't mean you were a Libra, but a Virgo. And there was a thirteenth zodiac constellation, Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer, which rose between Saggitarius and Scorpio for only four days.
The reason it's all off kilter? The earths axis wobbles. Life isn't nearly as stable as we want it to be.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
raspberry twisters
forever from here when i think of now
will i feel so torn when the future has come
and the now is gone?
will you find?
in someone else?
probably
just dont tell me
...but make sure i know
will i still hear the words you wrote
come alive with their own pulse
will my words still read the emotions stagnant in me?
time will tell
when my decisions turn to change
is it enough to remove the stain
he spilt on my shoulder?
your words and ways are wound tight around my everything
cut me down, i cant hang here forever
and forever from here i will think of now
i will wonder if you knew
that raspberry twisters will always remind me of you
will i feel so torn when the future has come
and the now is gone?
will you find?
in someone else?
probably
just dont tell me
...but make sure i know
will i still hear the words you wrote
come alive with their own pulse
will my words still read the emotions stagnant in me?
time will tell
when my decisions turn to change
is it enough to remove the stain
he spilt on my shoulder?
your words and ways are wound tight around my everything
cut me down, i cant hang here forever
and forever from here i will think of now
i will wonder if you knew
that raspberry twisters will always remind me of you
Australia
I just got back from a holiday around South Australia and Victoria. I went with one of my friends from uni. We spent most of our time in SA because it was so beautiful. In true corrie style we made no plans, just booked a flight into Adelaide and out of Melbourne. The journey in between would be determined day by day. It was amazing. It's hard to explain everything we did because we did so much. I will write out some highlights.. We stayed one night in Adelaide where we went to the Woolshed- the pub known for its country vibes and mechanical bull rides. Hilarious. I met loads of people there and decided I like farmers for their gentle open nature. It was a great night. I also met a guy called russle from The Alice. He is an indiginous aussie from the bush. He taught me some of his language (how to say cigarette and lighter) and told me some stories about his life. This was cool because I'm going to be teaching in a school very similar to the one he described as his primary school. We decided to head as far north of SA as possible. We ended up in Hawker. Check it out on google. Not much there, but beautiful landscape. It is at the foot of the Flinders Ranges. We got up early and watched the sunrise over the cliffs. It was insane. At this point I fell madly in love with outback Australia. Then we needed to head to somewhere with phone reception because I had a job interview. We had been through Port Augusta and knew coverage was good there, so off we went. Had lunch at a place called Tassie. Got a phone call and had my interview with the indiginous elders of the community I applied for...and...got the job :-) big smiles from me! So I'm moving to Yiyili next year..and going up to see the school in a few weeks too. Another adventure ;-) So after that we made our way to Freeling, home of McLeods Daughters. I'm not a fan but had seen the show and recognized the town. We stayed at the Gungellan Pub and THAT was an experience!!! Let's just say I had to sleep with my bed jammed up against the door so no one could get in...those outback fellas haven't seen girls in a while. I was scared but we survived! I also had stacks of fun there though.. Quite a bit of bootscooting went down. So we took off from there and drove through a billion towns until we reached Mount Gambier. We got there at night so we bought a torch and went to see all the limestone sink holes lit up at night. It was beyond describable. Amazing. We had no accommodation booked that night so we drove into a caravan park and found a spot between two empty cabins. I slept in the boot. Interesting times. Went to blue lake in the morning and watched the sunrise over the ancient volcano. It was gorgeous and quite eery being the only people there. We passed through Warrnambool and saw a couple of whales dancing along the coast and then headed along the Great Ocean Road. We stopped at every lookout and admired it all. It was a sweet time to be there because the winds and waves were so huge that you actually got wet standing up on the cliffs. It was magical! And scary! I loved it. Somewhere in there we went to Port Fairy which was awesome too. We walked right out across the river mouth to the island on the coast and went for a bit of an exploration. Great fun. From Lorne we drove to Queenscliff and caught the ferry across to Sorento. We drove the Nepean Hwy through to Melb city where I hung out with my big bro and surprised my big sis. Then we came home! I've missed out so many of the little coastal towns that were awesome but I wanted to keep it reasonably readable! Haha. If you read through this far, well done good and faithful blogger.
Now some visuals for your eyes...
Now some visuals for your eyes...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
creative space
Lately I have been lacking creativity and inspiration in my writing and thoughts. I have found it really hard to think and write like I love to.
I used to lay awake just thinking, reading a few verses, mumbling into the nothingness, and writing.. I would spend hours each night doing this and the creativity just came naturally.. words would appear in my vocabulary that I had never uttered before.. I was filled with inspiration and the desire to write until my eyes wouldnt stay open anymore. What I loved most was the passion building up inside me.. my heart demanding action and my spirit overwhelmed by purpose.
Earlier this week I saw a picture I drew as a self-portrait about 5 months ago. It looked nothing like me. It had a few random scribbles that represented what I thought was a true reflection of my heart. I saw that picture earlier this week.. it is stuck to my desk in my office.. it has been stuck there all year. I just never looked at it.
When I looked at the picture I felt sad. I feel that I have lost myself in all that is me.. make sense? It is bizarre you know, just doing the 'right thing' and living a 'good life' is pointless. It is one of the saddest misunderstandings about christianity.
I think it is time to whip out the leatherbound, grab a fineliner and get back to basics.
I used to lay awake just thinking, reading a few verses, mumbling into the nothingness, and writing.. I would spend hours each night doing this and the creativity just came naturally.. words would appear in my vocabulary that I had never uttered before.. I was filled with inspiration and the desire to write until my eyes wouldnt stay open anymore. What I loved most was the passion building up inside me.. my heart demanding action and my spirit overwhelmed by purpose.
Earlier this week I saw a picture I drew as a self-portrait about 5 months ago. It looked nothing like me. It had a few random scribbles that represented what I thought was a true reflection of my heart. I saw that picture earlier this week.. it is stuck to my desk in my office.. it has been stuck there all year. I just never looked at it.
When I looked at the picture I felt sad. I feel that I have lost myself in all that is me.. make sense? It is bizarre you know, just doing the 'right thing' and living a 'good life' is pointless. It is one of the saddest misunderstandings about christianity.
I think it is time to whip out the leatherbound, grab a fineliner and get back to basics.
Friday, September 18, 2009
these streets
these streets are cold
they hold no truth
trial and trust
these streets are used
with each step
she knows the way
worn and faded
her tracks decay
cracks in the stone
taking your stride
these streets lead you deeper
to where the real people hide
they hold no truth
trial and trust
these streets are used
with each step
she knows the way
worn and faded
her tracks decay
cracks in the stone
taking your stride
these streets lead you deeper
to where the real people hide
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I told
I told my boss I'm leaving.
It seems so much more real now.
I'm terrified. But so keen. Adventure time. Life change. Potential screw up.
The thing I'm struggling with most is knowing I'm leaving a perfectly satisfying life here. I've got it all. No worries. Beautiful friends. Supportive church. Great job. Family. Love. Ocean. Nice house. Car. Cultural acceptance.
Where I'm going there is none of that...yet.
It seems so much more real now.
I'm terrified. But so keen. Adventure time. Life change. Potential screw up.
The thing I'm struggling with most is knowing I'm leaving a perfectly satisfying life here. I've got it all. No worries. Beautiful friends. Supportive church. Great job. Family. Love. Ocean. Nice house. Car. Cultural acceptance.
Where I'm going there is none of that...yet.
Monday, September 14, 2009
gone to nowhere
she still wonders
how far is gone enough
to forget the ties
draw new lines
choice equals broken
pain not sin
his failure to notice
equals her reason to give in.
how far is gone enough
to forget the ties
draw new lines
choice equals broken
pain not sin
his failure to notice
equals her reason to give in.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
catholic haunting
I'm considering my movements for next year.
I can stay in the cushion comfort easy job i'm in, or I can satisfy my spirit of adventure that is just begging to be set free.
A sweet opportunity came up this week. It is definitely an adventure. It would take a lot of guts. I tick all the boxes and just have to do an official application to score it. I wanted to make sure I was in a job where I can be serving a higher purpose than just doing what I get paid to do. I was keen for this job, especially when I realised it was based in the heart of a mission community. I almost tricked myself into thinking it must be the Christian community lifestyle I'm being called to...then I realised it was catholic. Shattered. The one religion I struggle with the most. I would rather throw myself into a job filled with Christian hating athiests instead of Catholics.
I know it sounds prejudice and nasty.. Not how I intend it to be. I'm actually terrified...but almost more driven to apply for this position because I've been praying for challenges and a job that will extend my skills, but more so, my faith. I've found that when you are in a position where you have to question your faith and justify why you choose to live it out, you grow deep roots.
I can stay in the cushion comfort easy job i'm in, or I can satisfy my spirit of adventure that is just begging to be set free.
A sweet opportunity came up this week. It is definitely an adventure. It would take a lot of guts. I tick all the boxes and just have to do an official application to score it. I wanted to make sure I was in a job where I can be serving a higher purpose than just doing what I get paid to do. I was keen for this job, especially when I realised it was based in the heart of a mission community. I almost tricked myself into thinking it must be the Christian community lifestyle I'm being called to...then I realised it was catholic. Shattered. The one religion I struggle with the most. I would rather throw myself into a job filled with Christian hating athiests instead of Catholics.
I know it sounds prejudice and nasty.. Not how I intend it to be. I'm actually terrified...but almost more driven to apply for this position because I've been praying for challenges and a job that will extend my skills, but more so, my faith. I've found that when you are in a position where you have to question your faith and justify why you choose to live it out, you grow deep roots.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
a sequence of thoughts about a photograph
I kept a picture of you
fuzzy edges
blurred colour across your hand
I took it and kept it
It makes me warm
And somewhat sad
do you know about this picture?
We took so many
Who would notice one gone?
The emotion breaks through the print
You were laughing - so much
It looks like tears
Sometimes I look at it and I see you crying
It gives me a strange unfamiliar comfort
I love this picture
the blurry out of focus darkness
It reminds me of the time I knew you were careless about what I thought
fuzzy edges
blurred colour across your hand
I took it and kept it
It makes me warm
And somewhat sad
do you know about this picture?
We took so many
Who would notice one gone?
The emotion breaks through the print
You were laughing - so much
It looks like tears
Sometimes I look at it and I see you crying
It gives me a strange unfamiliar comfort
I love this picture
the blurry out of focus darkness
It reminds me of the time I knew you were careless about what I thought
Sunday, August 30, 2009
little love
I know you are there
but I choose to ignore
because my little imagination
can't keep up anymore
but I choose to ignore
because my little imagination
can't keep up anymore
Monday, August 24, 2009
le mar
even i
-won't settle for less-
am a castle in your sand
here you come
you got that confidence now
let's skip the part
where we dig for more
change your tide
let me know for sure
-won't settle for less-
am a castle in your sand
here you come
you got that confidence now
let's skip the part
where we dig for more
change your tide
let me know for sure
my mother warned me about you
you are the one she warned me about
her words, a tale of her own misfortune
just as her mother had said
her words told me nothing
her hold said it all
fully embraced by her
she warned me about you
beware of the one
who makes you want to feel
her words, a tale of her own misfortune
just as her mother had said
her words told me nothing
her hold said it all
fully embraced by her
she warned me about you
beware of the one
who makes you want to feel
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
christianarchy
Democratic, communist, dictatorship, capitalist, hippie freedom fighters, whatever... It hit my heart today that the laws and systems of this world fail no matter where they are or how they are executed or who by, because they are in the shadows of the devine law.
I was thinking about the hundreds of systems currently in place around the globe..the governing bodies that are there to create order, structure, justice and welfare..all of which fail and fall short of the demands of their people.
I always struggle at election time..hmm which one of the evils do I give my vote?! It seems no political party uphold the values that are important to me..or anyone.
Why? You would assume that with the multitude of leaders who have attempted such a task, we would have some answers by now as to how to govern a nation... Australia aren't doing too bad in my opinion, but that is in comparison to our neighbouring nations. However, if Australia were a stand alone case, I think I would say the system is a disgrace.
*disclaimer/ I know little or nothing about politics*
people are never quite satisfied with the bloke who is voted in to 'prime the country!' Why so? Well I'm going to break it down a bit, in my opinion. There are stacks of reasons why, but this is just one- a pretty important one!
I believe people are seeking someone or something to restore the damage done in the past from war, greed, racism, and injustice of any fabrication. People are looking for someone who will restore. I will say it again. Restore.
What is restoration? Look it up. Restore. Not 'cover up' or 'pay back' or 'make up for'...people need restoration, and that is why the issues of the past keep influencing their perspective on the goings on of today.
The only leader who can restore is God. If you seek restoration from anything other than God you will not be fully satisfied, rather settling for an imitation that has flaws and holes where pools of bitterness flow through.
Why am I saying this? Because it starts with you.. Not the leader of your nation.. It starts with you letting God govern you. Let Him restore.
I'm not saying that old Mr Rudd and co have no responsibility to acknowledge the past.. but God has the authority and the perfect design to restore our spirit - and He will, when we let Him govern our hearts.
What does it mean for your life to let God govern your heart...
Just a thought.
I was thinking about the hundreds of systems currently in place around the globe..the governing bodies that are there to create order, structure, justice and welfare..all of which fail and fall short of the demands of their people.
I always struggle at election time..hmm which one of the evils do I give my vote?! It seems no political party uphold the values that are important to me..or anyone.
Why? You would assume that with the multitude of leaders who have attempted such a task, we would have some answers by now as to how to govern a nation... Australia aren't doing too bad in my opinion, but that is in comparison to our neighbouring nations. However, if Australia were a stand alone case, I think I would say the system is a disgrace.
*disclaimer/ I know little or nothing about politics*
people are never quite satisfied with the bloke who is voted in to 'prime the country!' Why so? Well I'm going to break it down a bit, in my opinion. There are stacks of reasons why, but this is just one- a pretty important one!
I believe people are seeking someone or something to restore the damage done in the past from war, greed, racism, and injustice of any fabrication. People are looking for someone who will restore. I will say it again. Restore.
What is restoration? Look it up. Restore. Not 'cover up' or 'pay back' or 'make up for'...people need restoration, and that is why the issues of the past keep influencing their perspective on the goings on of today.
The only leader who can restore is God. If you seek restoration from anything other than God you will not be fully satisfied, rather settling for an imitation that has flaws and holes where pools of bitterness flow through.
Why am I saying this? Because it starts with you.. Not the leader of your nation.. It starts with you letting God govern you. Let Him restore.
I'm not saying that old Mr Rudd and co have no responsibility to acknowledge the past.. but God has the authority and the perfect design to restore our spirit - and He will, when we let Him govern our hearts.
What does it mean for your life to let God govern your heart...
Just a thought.
Monday, August 17, 2009
secreta
A tale of mischief
I'd rather not know
But you proceed to share the details
Make me promise to keep it on the down-low
I hate that you've told me
I despise the moral downfall
There are rules made for keeping
But it seems you've forgotten them all!
Don't tell ANYONE!
Ok, ok, I won't.
Just spare me the details
If you think I wanna know more - I don't.
Now the beans are spilled
and word is out
I kept my promise
But paranoid, you doubt.
How dare you accuse me
Of 'having a big mouth'
While being loyal to you
I betrayed myself
I hate that you told me
I hate that I knew
I hate that I said nothing
...but I still forgive you.
I'd rather not know
But you proceed to share the details
Make me promise to keep it on the down-low
I hate that you've told me
I despise the moral downfall
There are rules made for keeping
But it seems you've forgotten them all!
Don't tell ANYONE!
Ok, ok, I won't.
Just spare me the details
If you think I wanna know more - I don't.
Now the beans are spilled
and word is out
I kept my promise
But paranoid, you doubt.
How dare you accuse me
Of 'having a big mouth'
While being loyal to you
I betrayed myself
I hate that you told me
I hate that I knew
I hate that I said nothing
...but I still forgive you.
Friday, August 14, 2009
emo
Tonight i was chilling with some people i havent seen in ages, and some who i see all the time. We got chatting about blogs and it came up that a few of the people there read this blog. It's kind of strange knowing that people actually read what I crap on about, but cool too. So later in the evening a guy I know pretty well started talking to me about my poems on this blog. He said "you get pretty deep and personal and if I didn't know you well I would probably think you were some emo...Christian Emo'... Hmmm thanks? Ha..so now I'm blogging about that!
Well... It's funny, because I see my blog as the toned down version of my thoughts, and it's really quite a shallow representation of what I think about..because my thoughts are not for public reading when it comes to the deep ones. So, it was kind of strange hearing him say that I reveal a lot of deep stuff..but then he said 'I don't really know what you are talking about some of the time so I make up little stories and that is quite cool'..I liked that. My blog is one giant story (the poetry)... It all follows a theme and the story itself is quite a cool one. I love reading over my words because they represent the journey I've been on and I'm hoping you enjoy composing your own little stories to make some sense of it! It is like lyrics to a song that you don't really understand, but it means something to you - then you watch the film clip and suddenly you realise it means something different. I like lyrics best when they are my interpretation. So I won't explain my poems, I will let you interpret and think as you will.
Well... It's funny, because I see my blog as the toned down version of my thoughts, and it's really quite a shallow representation of what I think about..because my thoughts are not for public reading when it comes to the deep ones. So, it was kind of strange hearing him say that I reveal a lot of deep stuff..but then he said 'I don't really know what you are talking about some of the time so I make up little stories and that is quite cool'..I liked that. My blog is one giant story (the poetry)... It all follows a theme and the story itself is quite a cool one. I love reading over my words because they represent the journey I've been on and I'm hoping you enjoy composing your own little stories to make some sense of it! It is like lyrics to a song that you don't really understand, but it means something to you - then you watch the film clip and suddenly you realise it means something different. I like lyrics best when they are my interpretation. So I won't explain my poems, I will let you interpret and think as you will.
Friday, August 7, 2009
women
I am the inner strength,
the essence of this contender,
a sterling heart,
fragile and tender.
Feeding off love,
the fuel that burns,
an instinctual desire,
to invite the raging fire.
Built to withstand,
the blows and burns,
the stabs and strikes,
a welcome fight.
This part of me,
I did not know existed,
stands her ground when tempted,
shows her face, force and resistance.
The essence of woman,
the true hidden beauty,
is not the manicured perfection,
but her honour and duty,
to deny the imposters,
generous and misleading,
and stick with her promise,
to never stop believing.
The reason she fights,
waits and perseveres,
is not a call of the common,
but a choice her heart fears.
The essence of woman,
the meticulous art,
of protecting herself,
by hiding her heart.
the essence of this contender,
a sterling heart,
fragile and tender.
Feeding off love,
the fuel that burns,
an instinctual desire,
to invite the raging fire.
Built to withstand,
the blows and burns,
the stabs and strikes,
a welcome fight.
This part of me,
I did not know existed,
stands her ground when tempted,
shows her face, force and resistance.
The essence of woman,
the true hidden beauty,
is not the manicured perfection,
but her honour and duty,
to deny the imposters,
generous and misleading,
and stick with her promise,
to never stop believing.
The reason she fights,
waits and perseveres,
is not a call of the common,
but a choice her heart fears.
The essence of woman,
the meticulous art,
of protecting herself,
by hiding her heart.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
nasty
So tonight my ladies team played basketball, as usual for a Thursday evening. I have always prefered mixed team sports instead of all girls because of one reason - boys seem to play competitive but fair, whereas girls are just rude and bitchy, especially tonight.
These girls were something else.. I could tell from the start it was going to be a bad game but kept my cool and just went with it, until the ref started egging on the other team. Loser. His comments stirred up the girls enough to start taking it all a bit too seriously and before I knew it I was copping a ball to the face because one girl got a bit too into it. I was just playing the game! Nasty. Now I'm sporting a healthy shiner.
I don't get angry very often - never enough to actually show how I'm feeling. I'm that girl who goes silent and walks away from it. I stew over it for long enough to realise it's not worth stewing over, and then it's all over and done with. Refresh. Move on... But tonight I am left with such a bitterness towards the ref (not so much the girls), because he was so unfair and quite cruel. Do I speak up to the organisers? It bothers me that he works there and is meant to be the one moderating the game, but instead he is stirring up anger.. Hmmm I'm not usually one to 'complain' or write letters or make a fuss..but maybe I should.
These girls were something else.. I could tell from the start it was going to be a bad game but kept my cool and just went with it, until the ref started egging on the other team. Loser. His comments stirred up the girls enough to start taking it all a bit too seriously and before I knew it I was copping a ball to the face because one girl got a bit too into it. I was just playing the game! Nasty. Now I'm sporting a healthy shiner.
I don't get angry very often - never enough to actually show how I'm feeling. I'm that girl who goes silent and walks away from it. I stew over it for long enough to realise it's not worth stewing over, and then it's all over and done with. Refresh. Move on... But tonight I am left with such a bitterness towards the ref (not so much the girls), because he was so unfair and quite cruel. Do I speak up to the organisers? It bothers me that he works there and is meant to be the one moderating the game, but instead he is stirring up anger.. Hmmm I'm not usually one to 'complain' or write letters or make a fuss..but maybe I should.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
tried
loaded words that struck my core
I tried to shut them out
but bullet by bullet they sank my soul
until mercy stood up for her encore
flat on the slats
my time has come
to bare a beating of guilt and shame
mercy oh mercy show your face
let the onlookers stand to applause
the rope is tight
the hand is ticking
one more bullet is sure to kill
but mercy can only save so much
she needs a saviour, one that will.
I tried to shut them out
but bullet by bullet they sank my soul
until mercy stood up for her encore
flat on the slats
my time has come
to bare a beating of guilt and shame
mercy oh mercy show your face
let the onlookers stand to applause
the rope is tight
the hand is ticking
one more bullet is sure to kill
but mercy can only save so much
she needs a saviour, one that will.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
caught myself again
too easy to cave that way
when the lids don't open and the child won't play
so suddenly the shutters draw
when the drag is too strong and heart no anchor
caught myself again in time
a moment longer and this cruel knot would not have space to unwind
in the desperate days now
when I find myself this way
with nothing to cling to
no tracks left to trace
thank you for waiting
my saviour, my truth
because this constant debating
somehow leads me back to you
the sacred soul
I will never comprehend
how I can let my life be so low
but in the distant times
you are my closest friend
when the lids don't open and the child won't play
so suddenly the shutters draw
when the drag is too strong and heart no anchor
caught myself again in time
a moment longer and this cruel knot would not have space to unwind
in the desperate days now
when I find myself this way
with nothing to cling to
no tracks left to trace
thank you for waiting
my saviour, my truth
because this constant debating
somehow leads me back to you
the sacred soul
I will never comprehend
how I can let my life be so low
but in the distant times
you are my closest friend
being driven
I was at a thing my school do each week where one person gets up and does a little devo thing for the town. This was a few weeks ago - and it was the founder of the organisation who was doing the devo on this specific day.
I won't mention the name of the guy or the organisation, but let's just say that to most people involved with the place, this guy is pretty much their god. It's sad to say that, because I'm sure he doesn't actually want to be looked upon as 'the almighty leader' and I'm positive he is a pretty sweet genuine bloke who has done some amazing things...but... He is no different in ranking to you or I.
So...in saying that. I would now like to crap on about what he spoke about all those weeks ago.
His devotion was called 'being driven' and his posing question was 'what happens to you when you become driven?'.
Now...in my mind I was thinking that being driven was a good thing...and I actually think that he started out thinking that too, until people started saying stuff like 'I get quite selfish when I'm driven', and 'I become authoritive when I'm driven and people don't appreciate that'..
I sat there thinking that maybe my view on 'being driven' is completely different to theirs..
Mr speaker continued his devo and began highlighting all the bad things about being driven and concluded that it is best to remain with a focus of helping others and being hospitible to others needs.
Hmmmm... Now here's what I think about being driven.
We are like cars.
If you aren't moving anywhere, you can't be steered. So it is better to get those wheels moving and be heading towards something even if you don't know what it is yet.
And in regards to the whole 'focus on helping others and being hospitible to others needs' - yes, do... but... you might just be ripping off yourself and the world if you don't let yourself be driven by Gods amazing plans that NO ONE can match with their own. So...you have more purpose (I believe) than following around some guy who thinks he needs you to devote yourself to achieving the things he is driven to do.
Just a thought.
I won't mention the name of the guy or the organisation, but let's just say that to most people involved with the place, this guy is pretty much their god. It's sad to say that, because I'm sure he doesn't actually want to be looked upon as 'the almighty leader' and I'm positive he is a pretty sweet genuine bloke who has done some amazing things...but... He is no different in ranking to you or I.
So...in saying that. I would now like to crap on about what he spoke about all those weeks ago.
His devotion was called 'being driven' and his posing question was 'what happens to you when you become driven?'.
Now...in my mind I was thinking that being driven was a good thing...and I actually think that he started out thinking that too, until people started saying stuff like 'I get quite selfish when I'm driven', and 'I become authoritive when I'm driven and people don't appreciate that'..
I sat there thinking that maybe my view on 'being driven' is completely different to theirs..
Mr speaker continued his devo and began highlighting all the bad things about being driven and concluded that it is best to remain with a focus of helping others and being hospitible to others needs.
Hmmmm... Now here's what I think about being driven.
We are like cars.
If you aren't moving anywhere, you can't be steered. So it is better to get those wheels moving and be heading towards something even if you don't know what it is yet.
And in regards to the whole 'focus on helping others and being hospitible to others needs' - yes, do... but... you might just be ripping off yourself and the world if you don't let yourself be driven by Gods amazing plans that NO ONE can match with their own. So...you have more purpose (I believe) than following around some guy who thinks he needs you to devote yourself to achieving the things he is driven to do.
Just a thought.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
ladies size nine
Someone is playing a cruel joke on all the women in launceston with size nine shoes. A pair of joggers shouldn't be hard to find in size nine-but aparently the only pair left in the world (k-mart) is missing the left shoe. Fantastic. I thought I struck gold when I found cathy freeman spunky looking green joggers in size nine...but without the left shoe it was a bit of a rip off..so I settled for a pair of mens, fun. Probably should invest in some proper ones next time.
In other news- my brother turned 18 this weekend so we had a Baxter bash and had the whole family under the one roof for the first time in a while. Spent a day with all my bros and sisters and their partners (6 kids in the family in total)..interesting being the only single, felt a bit out of it all, as you do. It was a bit of a stab in the guts to realise that everyone is growing up and taking the 'appropriate steps' to securing a good future...and here I am living with mates, no savings, no long term plans, no house that I'm renovating...no recent business ventures...some would say I'm the black sheep, but I say I'm normal...but it would be a lie to say it didn't upset me a little. It's times like these when I could easily become too distracted by what the structures of this world say that I need... or I could take this as another reason to focus on what I know is true and worth waiting for..I think I'll take that option!
So it was lovely seeing my family, and I was so pleased to see my little bro celebrating with his friends, it's something quite special for an older sister to see her brother grow up into a man she respects a lot... I love that guy :)
The flu was gross but it's all gone now! Yay!
And finally - I bumped into a friend of mine in town on the weekend and he had just been to the dentist...people with numb mouths sound funny.
That's all folks!
Corrie.
In other news- my brother turned 18 this weekend so we had a Baxter bash and had the whole family under the one roof for the first time in a while. Spent a day with all my bros and sisters and their partners (6 kids in the family in total)..interesting being the only single, felt a bit out of it all, as you do. It was a bit of a stab in the guts to realise that everyone is growing up and taking the 'appropriate steps' to securing a good future...and here I am living with mates, no savings, no long term plans, no house that I'm renovating...no recent business ventures...some would say I'm the black sheep, but I say I'm normal...but it would be a lie to say it didn't upset me a little. It's times like these when I could easily become too distracted by what the structures of this world say that I need... or I could take this as another reason to focus on what I know is true and worth waiting for..I think I'll take that option!
So it was lovely seeing my family, and I was so pleased to see my little bro celebrating with his friends, it's something quite special for an older sister to see her brother grow up into a man she respects a lot... I love that guy :)
The flu was gross but it's all gone now! Yay!
And finally - I bumped into a friend of mine in town on the weekend and he had just been to the dentist...people with numb mouths sound funny.
That's all folks!
Corrie.
Monday, July 27, 2009
swine
I'm having a day off work today because last night I had a horrible fever and had some pretty wacked dreams that kept me awake all night, along with coughing and such.
Yesterday I was feeling sick but went to work anyway because I didn't have a fever or anything. I had a total of ONE student turn up for class. The rest all called in sick with fevers and aches. Fantastic. We had a couple of cases of swine flu in the small town where my school is, but they were isolated and we thought we escaped it infecting the town... Perhaps not? I'm kind of hoping it is swine so that I'm done and dusted with it.
My principal called today to tell me that there were no students at school today. Everyone has been hit by it, probably good that it happens all at once!
In other news... I have my phone back :-) its funny how much I rely on it without even realising. It was quite nice not having it for the week, but very frustrating too.
Consider yourself updated.
Yesterday I was feeling sick but went to work anyway because I didn't have a fever or anything. I had a total of ONE student turn up for class. The rest all called in sick with fevers and aches. Fantastic. We had a couple of cases of swine flu in the small town where my school is, but they were isolated and we thought we escaped it infecting the town... Perhaps not? I'm kind of hoping it is swine so that I'm done and dusted with it.
My principal called today to tell me that there were no students at school today. Everyone has been hit by it, probably good that it happens all at once!
In other news... I have my phone back :-) its funny how much I rely on it without even realising. It was quite nice not having it for the week, but very frustrating too.
Consider yourself updated.
weak words
dont say it
dont write it
dont imply it
dont hint it
dont come out, I'm not dressed to play
dont trouble me with it
if you will just take it all away
the words are weak
the tone is deep
the timing is out
the mouth dry like drought
dont trouble me with it
if you will just take it away someday
because I hold tight to the notion
that you mean every word you say
dont write it
dont imply it
dont hint it
dont come out, I'm not dressed to play
dont trouble me with it
if you will just take it all away
the words are weak
the tone is deep
the timing is out
the mouth dry like drought
dont trouble me with it
if you will just take it away someday
because I hold tight to the notion
that you mean every word you say
Friday, July 24, 2009
Justice vs Payback
A post about justice.. and the way the world seems to understand the word.
This morning i found myself reading articles about a 6wk old puppy named 'Buckley' who was found in a school yard in VIC earlier this month with his ears and tail hacked off. A 32 year old man was charged and is now spending time in a rehabilitation unit for an undetermined amount of time.
Ive never really looked into animal cruelty - never really experienced anything that spurred me to. I used to live with a vegan who was dead set against any form of cruelty.. which is probably what most people would claim as their stance. She was pretty extreme - but had a different understanding of justice compared to those who have posted their opinions about the recent puppy attack.
While reading through some comments that were posted online I began to feel a real sense of evil at work. Here are some comments posted on a forum about the puppy
Moresio:
"If he is allowed to live, one day he might try it on humans. For all the 'Do Gooders' out there that think this person should be rehabilitated, i hope he tries it on you or your kids. He should be killed to avoid another occurance of this type of behaviour. Amen."
Selitti:
"There is NO excuse for that bastard did to poor Buckley, If i had my way i would cut his Ears and Testicles and see how he feels"
Dunk:
"hand the gutless 32 year old over to me ... i'll show him what pain really feels like .... he'll wish he had the death penalty when i've finished with him .... the same goes to anyone that harms an animal ....."
Terrence:
"why put em in prison........just shoot the basteds and free up the system ??"
Singh:
"The fucken prick that did this should be killed how would he like it if i cut his ears, dick,balls off and let him bleed and let him feel the pain he is a sick person , who needs help people like him should be killed .some people are fucked in the head."
Marquis:
"I think people who have this stuff in their right mind, should be punished with what they did to the victim then strung out in the desert to die slowly! Obviously put on you tube so all can see and laugh!"
I could post thousands.. literally. Reading through all the comments there was probably 1 in every 100 that didn't suggest hurting/killing the guy who did this. I spent a few hours reading these because I became so intrigued with the way people view justice. It seems the word justice = payback.
This makes me really sad. Justice is something that is talked about more in the bible than most other things that Christians focus on. It is so sad to have lost the true meaning and essence of the word.
The comments that upset me the most are the ones that acknowledge this guy has something wrong with him, but then proceed to suggest he should be killed because of it. I don't know about you, but this gives me the chills and it is something we need to start educating people about.. not in a 'come to a lecture and hear what I have to say about justice' way.. more of a live it out and show grace and mercy and compassion in the little things as well as the big things in our lives that show the true essence of justice.
This morning i found myself reading articles about a 6wk old puppy named 'Buckley' who was found in a school yard in VIC earlier this month with his ears and tail hacked off. A 32 year old man was charged and is now spending time in a rehabilitation unit for an undetermined amount of time.
Ive never really looked into animal cruelty - never really experienced anything that spurred me to. I used to live with a vegan who was dead set against any form of cruelty.. which is probably what most people would claim as their stance. She was pretty extreme - but had a different understanding of justice compared to those who have posted their opinions about the recent puppy attack.
While reading through some comments that were posted online I began to feel a real sense of evil at work. Here are some comments posted on a forum about the puppy
Moresio:
"If he is allowed to live, one day he might try it on humans. For all the 'Do Gooders' out there that think this person should be rehabilitated, i hope he tries it on you or your kids. He should be killed to avoid another occurance of this type of behaviour. Amen."
Selitti:
"There is NO excuse for that bastard did to poor Buckley, If i had my way i would cut his Ears and Testicles and see how he feels"
Dunk:
"hand the gutless 32 year old over to me ... i'll show him what pain really feels like .... he'll wish he had the death penalty when i've finished with him .... the same goes to anyone that harms an animal ....."
Terrence:
"why put em in prison........just shoot the basteds and free up the system ??"
Singh:
"The fucken prick that did this should be killed how would he like it if i cut his ears, dick,balls off and let him bleed and let him feel the pain he is a sick person , who needs help people like him should be killed .some people are fucked in the head."
Marquis:
"I think people who have this stuff in their right mind, should be punished with what they did to the victim then strung out in the desert to die slowly! Obviously put on you tube so all can see and laugh!"
I could post thousands.. literally. Reading through all the comments there was probably 1 in every 100 that didn't suggest hurting/killing the guy who did this. I spent a few hours reading these because I became so intrigued with the way people view justice. It seems the word justice = payback.
This makes me really sad. Justice is something that is talked about more in the bible than most other things that Christians focus on. It is so sad to have lost the true meaning and essence of the word.
The comments that upset me the most are the ones that acknowledge this guy has something wrong with him, but then proceed to suggest he should be killed because of it. I don't know about you, but this gives me the chills and it is something we need to start educating people about.. not in a 'come to a lecture and hear what I have to say about justice' way.. more of a live it out and show grace and mercy and compassion in the little things as well as the big things in our lives that show the true essence of justice.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Godbumps
There are 3 things that give me goosebumps and send shivers (good ones) right through me.
1. Spiritual moments of amazement
2. Seeing people achieve
3. Music
It is a physical reaction in my body that I can't control, and it actually feels quite uncomfortable - but in a way its pretty rad too. It happens quite often in the job that I am in.. I see students 'click' with certain concepts and achieve goals most days, which is cool. I listen to music constantly, and would consider myself to be quite in touch with my spirituality- so, I get the shivers quite regularly..but each time it is still a weird feeling and hasn't become normal just yet!
I have lots of favourite songs.. a new one each day.. and people often tell me that I always say "this is my favourite song"... hmmm I think I have quite a few that I would find it hard to choose between if I had to decide on a favourite.
There are lots of aspects of a good song that I love... but recently it has been the lyrics that grab me more than the quality or talent of the music itself.
This is the chorus of one of my favourite songs...
I don't really get what the song is about because looking at the lyrics it could be about a chicky or a daughter or a few other possibilities..perhaps not even about a person.. but I love it because I know there are definitely a few people in my life who have this effect on me... one in particular.. it seems the closer we become, the more I find God - and not just mushy fluffy good stuff.. I mean the more I am challenged to love certain people, the more I am also challenged to love that they are one of God's own.. its a rather interesting journey!
So.. in saying that.. I realised today (mid-rant about how annoyed I am about something) that these times are actually a blessing and perhaps they are a little miracle at work in me.
1. Spiritual moments of amazement
2. Seeing people achieve
3. Music
It is a physical reaction in my body that I can't control, and it actually feels quite uncomfortable - but in a way its pretty rad too. It happens quite often in the job that I am in.. I see students 'click' with certain concepts and achieve goals most days, which is cool. I listen to music constantly, and would consider myself to be quite in touch with my spirituality- so, I get the shivers quite regularly..but each time it is still a weird feeling and hasn't become normal just yet!
I have lots of favourite songs.. a new one each day.. and people often tell me that I always say "this is my favourite song"... hmmm I think I have quite a few that I would find it hard to choose between if I had to decide on a favourite.
There are lots of aspects of a good song that I love... but recently it has been the lyrics that grab me more than the quality or talent of the music itself.
This is the chorus of one of my favourite songs...
"The closer I come to you
the closer I am to finding God
You're a miracle to me"
-Cadence by Anberlin-
I don't really get what the song is about because looking at the lyrics it could be about a chicky or a daughter or a few other possibilities..perhaps not even about a person.. but I love it because I know there are definitely a few people in my life who have this effect on me... one in particular.. it seems the closer we become, the more I find God - and not just mushy fluffy good stuff.. I mean the more I am challenged to love certain people, the more I am also challenged to love that they are one of God's own.. its a rather interesting journey!
So.. in saying that.. I realised today (mid-rant about how annoyed I am about something) that these times are actually a blessing and perhaps they are a little miracle at work in me.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
in the alone times
hidden in the pillowslips are the words she set free
buried in the fabric lay her tears - a stream
a fallen tear at night, leaving no tracks
her hollow cry to the stitches
the ones who don't talk back
buried in the fabric lay her tears - a stream
a fallen tear at night, leaving no tracks
her hollow cry to the stitches
the ones who don't talk back
Saturday, July 18, 2009
When An Athiest Promises God
it is as though his heart is purpose built
to withstand the piercing strikes of resounding guilt
infront of her eyes he disguises his hesitation
but my eyes saw past those of the content congregation
why would he stumble on words of a promise and cease
if he has no faith, no conviction to believe
in the moment he lacked confidence to maintain his stance
i saw his heart rip, a strike to counter the balance
to withstand the piercing strikes of resounding guilt
infront of her eyes he disguises his hesitation
but my eyes saw past those of the content congregation
why would he stumble on words of a promise and cease
if he has no faith, no conviction to believe
in the moment he lacked confidence to maintain his stance
i saw his heart rip, a strike to counter the balance
Friday, July 17, 2009
reflecting
On my way to work this morning I was thinking and reflecting on recent events/feelings/choices and my mind was chucking a psycho. I couldn't focus and think without all these crazy thoughts popping in and out and clouding my mind. I gave up on the reflecting and just turned up the tunes and enjoyed a nice drive to work.
On my way home from work I drove past a lake that I drive past every day - today it took my breath away! It was SO still and clear and it was a perfect mirror reflecting the gorgeous mountains and blue sky that surrounds the valley I drive through. It was amazing - literally stunning. I started thinking about this - I see that lake every day, and I see the mountains and the surroundings twice a day, every day.. but Ive never been stunned by it.. until I saw it reflected in the lake in the most perfect way..
I thought about life - and my attempt to reflect earlier in the day... and I came to the conclusion that life is like a lake. Go figure.
Basically - we can't understand what happens in life, and we cant reflect and see things as they are unless we be still, clear our mind of all the pond gunk, and just let our thoughts see our circumstances like a still lake sees the world.
On my way home from work I drove past a lake that I drive past every day - today it took my breath away! It was SO still and clear and it was a perfect mirror reflecting the gorgeous mountains and blue sky that surrounds the valley I drive through. It was amazing - literally stunning. I started thinking about this - I see that lake every day, and I see the mountains and the surroundings twice a day, every day.. but Ive never been stunned by it.. until I saw it reflected in the lake in the most perfect way..
I thought about life - and my attempt to reflect earlier in the day... and I came to the conclusion that life is like a lake. Go figure.
Basically - we can't understand what happens in life, and we cant reflect and see things as they are unless we be still, clear our mind of all the pond gunk, and just let our thoughts see our circumstances like a still lake sees the world.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
time will pass
Time will pass and I won't think of you anymore
A sad thought
My eyes will find brighter lights to see and I won't look for you anymore
A distant picture
Plans and dreams will take over my focus and I won't rely on you anymore
A freedom I need
Louder voices will interfere with your words and I won't hear you anymore
A waste of good ground
I will look to others to share my deepest thoughts and talk only the surface with you, my friend
A rich relationship come to an end
I will run from you and not chase after you anymore
Because I would rather trip over my own feet than tread on yours
We will forget each step that got us here and remember the ones that pushed us away
a shame, a waste, a lesson learnt
- heart that's left taught, but burnt-
A sad thought
My eyes will find brighter lights to see and I won't look for you anymore
A distant picture
Plans and dreams will take over my focus and I won't rely on you anymore
A freedom I need
Louder voices will interfere with your words and I won't hear you anymore
A waste of good ground
I will look to others to share my deepest thoughts and talk only the surface with you, my friend
A rich relationship come to an end
I will run from you and not chase after you anymore
Because I would rather trip over my own feet than tread on yours
We will forget each step that got us here and remember the ones that pushed us away
a shame, a waste, a lesson learnt
- heart that's left taught, but burnt-
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
empty half gone
When you wake up with a melody on your breath, a beat in your soul, and a rhythm in your step - you have found your song.
Today I got back from 'music camp'. I took my students to a little camp site out in the middle of some mountain ranges in Tasmania. The site is right down in a valley, soooo cold and wet.. We spent a lot of our time inside by the fire learning new instruments and jamming. It was tiring, but sweet. At one point we decided to climb up one of the mountains (not the whole way!) just high enough to get to the waterfall that was in full action - gorgeous. It was a fun treck... Slippery and scary and quite dangerous... But it made me realise how much I love that kind of thing. I'm considering doing a hike up one of tasmanias bigger tracks sometime soon. I think it could be quite an adventure.
Watching the students pick up new instruments and give them a go was an interesting experience... I think it's a lot like life... One girl picked up the flute and persevered with it for about 45 mins. She could get a sound out of it and was doing alright, but as soon as she picked up the sax she knew she was on the money! Some people are just naturally talented at some instruments.. Got the right physical make-up for it.. I was like that on sax, but had to teach myself how to sing and really practice hard at guitar... Not a natural at either of those, but with sax it took nothing for me to become quite good.
Life can be like that. We can persevere with something because we can do it if we work hard at it... But I believe we will exceed all our expectations when we find the path we are made to walk on... Not suggesting we won't need any practice!
Today I got back from 'music camp'. I took my students to a little camp site out in the middle of some mountain ranges in Tasmania. The site is right down in a valley, soooo cold and wet.. We spent a lot of our time inside by the fire learning new instruments and jamming. It was tiring, but sweet. At one point we decided to climb up one of the mountains (not the whole way!) just high enough to get to the waterfall that was in full action - gorgeous. It was a fun treck... Slippery and scary and quite dangerous... But it made me realise how much I love that kind of thing. I'm considering doing a hike up one of tasmanias bigger tracks sometime soon. I think it could be quite an adventure.
Watching the students pick up new instruments and give them a go was an interesting experience... I think it's a lot like life... One girl picked up the flute and persevered with it for about 45 mins. She could get a sound out of it and was doing alright, but as soon as she picked up the sax she knew she was on the money! Some people are just naturally talented at some instruments.. Got the right physical make-up for it.. I was like that on sax, but had to teach myself how to sing and really practice hard at guitar... Not a natural at either of those, but with sax it took nothing for me to become quite good.
Life can be like that. We can persevere with something because we can do it if we work hard at it... But I believe we will exceed all our expectations when we find the path we are made to walk on... Not suggesting we won't need any practice!
Friday, July 10, 2009
fallen mans praise
desperate
a heavy heart
confused but determined
wanting to hear from you
but not quite ready to talk
admiration - but frustrated with those who 'know the way' and 'what to say'
cut out the thoughts that push for an explanation
questioning purpose
asking for confirmation
when his mouth is empty of words
all he has are doubts and questions
he chooses to deny
but still fears to know
when he lets his heart rage
you should know -
this is a fallen mans praise
a heavy heart
confused but determined
wanting to hear from you
but not quite ready to talk
admiration - but frustrated with those who 'know the way' and 'what to say'
cut out the thoughts that push for an explanation
questioning purpose
asking for confirmation
when his mouth is empty of words
all he has are doubts and questions
he chooses to deny
but still fears to know
when he lets his heart rage
you should know -
this is a fallen mans praise
Thursday, July 9, 2009
hard knock love
In the words of katy perry
"you're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down... Blah blah bollocks blah blab"
I don't care too much for katy perry's musical whatever- apart from the fact that her songs are quite catchy and aren't too bad for jumping around the kitchen while cooking savoury scones.
Today I have been contemplating recent events and have realised that in this moment I am developing into who I am yet to become. I could get all bitter and narky about people when they aren't what I expected them to be - or I could accept that they too are on a journey and tomorrow will be slightly different than today (perhaps?).
Sometimes when it is your close friends it is harder to accept that fact, especially when I love them too much to stand by and see them not loving themselves.
"you're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down... Blah blah bollocks blah blab"
I don't care too much for katy perry's musical whatever- apart from the fact that her songs are quite catchy and aren't too bad for jumping around the kitchen while cooking savoury scones.
Today I have been contemplating recent events and have realised that in this moment I am developing into who I am yet to become. I could get all bitter and narky about people when they aren't what I expected them to be - or I could accept that they too are on a journey and tomorrow will be slightly different than today (perhaps?).
Sometimes when it is your close friends it is harder to accept that fact, especially when I love them too much to stand by and see them not loving themselves.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sam Cawthorn
Earlier this year I was taking part in a leadership camp for young christians who want to be inspired to live their life in a way that inspires others, and particularly the young ones who attend their youth groups and camps. I was invited to run a workshop at the this camp and I enjoyed doing it, to the point where I became a bit inspired to continue teaching young adults and perhaps one day train in adult learning or something of some sort... but what really inspired me on this camp was a guy called Sam Cawthorn. He was the 'keynote speaker' of the camp and also considers himself a worldwide motivational speaker. You may have heard the story of Sam..
Sam was in a very nasty car accident a few years ago on the NW Coast of Tasmania. His story is amazing. I have been watching a few of his youtube clips and this one stuck out to me.
He says in one part "problems define you - if you dont have problems, get down on your knees and ask for some!"
Check it out - you might find yourself inspired :-)
If you want to check out his official website you can have a squiz here.
Sam was in a very nasty car accident a few years ago on the NW Coast of Tasmania. His story is amazing. I have been watching a few of his youtube clips and this one stuck out to me.
He says in one part "problems define you - if you dont have problems, get down on your knees and ask for some!"
Check it out - you might find yourself inspired :-)
If you want to check out his official website you can have a squiz here.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
a call to persevere
He who is able to keep me from falling and to present me before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Saviour be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore.
Jude 12:24
Great joy- he presents us before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy... Exactly what my heart needed to hear. What an amazing God. I often wonder about the way God is represented.. how many
Non-christians (and quite a large percentage of believers) would not think of God as someone who takes great joy in us.. Who longs for our presence with him because it brings him great joy.. It blows my mind just thinking about it.. seems like such a far off amazing ideal.. but it's as real as it gets.. amazing.
Jude 12:24
Great joy- he presents us before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy... Exactly what my heart needed to hear. What an amazing God. I often wonder about the way God is represented.. how many
Non-christians (and quite a large percentage of believers) would not think of God as someone who takes great joy in us.. Who longs for our presence with him because it brings him great joy.. It blows my mind just thinking about it.. seems like such a far off amazing ideal.. but it's as real as it gets.. amazing.
Monday, July 6, 2009
in between
harsh words
ive heard them before
no offence to me
but my heart hit the floor
something so simple
such a complex reaction
I knew it, I guess
I just never adapted
I did it again
ridiculous mistake
time taught me nothing
feelings a fake
but it wasn't just me this time
others saw it too!
encouragement is not guaranteed good
the current state of my heart is proof.
ive heard them before
no offence to me
but my heart hit the floor
something so simple
such a complex reaction
I knew it, I guess
I just never adapted
I did it again
ridiculous mistake
time taught me nothing
feelings a fake
but it wasn't just me this time
others saw it too!
encouragement is not guaranteed good
the current state of my heart is proof.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
content
How is it that I can be content in my situation, and have things in my life that make me happy- but still not be satisfied?
I've been sitting in coles carpark eating a banana and some rice crackers in my car. While I've been chillin I've been observing and pondering and questioning and confusing myself.
People walking past me (I assume are husband in wife) not saying a word to each other, just plodding along into the supermarket to do the groceries just like every other time. Routine - something my life lacks a little, but I like it that way.
Today in the docs surgery the ladies behind the counter all had little black suits on and their hair all primmed and proper and their fingers were laced with a million different gold rings with big chunky stones sticking out of them. Their lips all had plum lippy perfectly applied and their nails were all long and painted the frenchy style. As I walked up to the counter one lady looked at me expectantly, and I looked back at her also expectantly... When did people stop asking how your day is and how they can help you? So I smiled and waited for her to ask.. It took an awkward moment or two but eventually she said "is there anything I can do for you?"..
Are people becoming a little numb?
I remember going to maccas a few years ago and there was a young chubby blonde girl working there, obviously her first day. She was bright and bubbly and so willing to help out as much as she could.. Not sure if she was just trying to impress her new boss or not but I felt like she genuinely wanted to serve me my cheeseburger.. Not something that's too common these days! A few weeks later I was at the same store ordering some deep fried health and that same girl was there doing her thing. It made me sad because it only took a couple of weeks for this young bright bubbly girl to lose the eye contact, the smile, the tone, and the evident attitude of a willing servant. It had numbed her.
So in conclusion to this random rant, I want to protect myself from ever becoming numb to my surroundings. I like my job because it keeps me actively thinking all the time and I get to be creative.. but one day I might get sick of that job..so I will try somethng else.. Who knows!
Bring on the randomness and bring on the journey.
I've been sitting in coles carpark eating a banana and some rice crackers in my car. While I've been chillin I've been observing and pondering and questioning and confusing myself.
People walking past me (I assume are husband in wife) not saying a word to each other, just plodding along into the supermarket to do the groceries just like every other time. Routine - something my life lacks a little, but I like it that way.
Today in the docs surgery the ladies behind the counter all had little black suits on and their hair all primmed and proper and their fingers were laced with a million different gold rings with big chunky stones sticking out of them. Their lips all had plum lippy perfectly applied and their nails were all long and painted the frenchy style. As I walked up to the counter one lady looked at me expectantly, and I looked back at her also expectantly... When did people stop asking how your day is and how they can help you? So I smiled and waited for her to ask.. It took an awkward moment or two but eventually she said "is there anything I can do for you?"..
Are people becoming a little numb?
I remember going to maccas a few years ago and there was a young chubby blonde girl working there, obviously her first day. She was bright and bubbly and so willing to help out as much as she could.. Not sure if she was just trying to impress her new boss or not but I felt like she genuinely wanted to serve me my cheeseburger.. Not something that's too common these days! A few weeks later I was at the same store ordering some deep fried health and that same girl was there doing her thing. It made me sad because it only took a couple of weeks for this young bright bubbly girl to lose the eye contact, the smile, the tone, and the evident attitude of a willing servant. It had numbed her.
So in conclusion to this random rant, I want to protect myself from ever becoming numb to my surroundings. I like my job because it keeps me actively thinking all the time and I get to be creative.. but one day I might get sick of that job..so I will try somethng else.. Who knows!
Bring on the randomness and bring on the journey.
a song I like
We all get burnt sometimes
Lately I've had mine
Starts off in your mind
Runs right down your spine
Cracks all start to show
Sooner than you know
We all get taken in
By dreams we'll never be in
Problems that we face
Soon will be replaced
You're looking for something
You already know
I'm down upon my knees
I see you're ready to fall
Lately I've had mine
Starts off in your mind
Runs right down your spine
Cracks all start to show
Sooner than you know
We all get taken in
By dreams we'll never be in
Problems that we face
Soon will be replaced
You're looking for something
You already know
I'm down upon my knees
I see you're ready to fall
Friday, July 3, 2009
acrostic crapè
Beyond the Physical
Priorities clash with pleasures
Reasoning gets shot
Obscure desire to temp fate
My insecurities forsake my fighting will
Indecent excuse
Something the 'old man' would say
Even still, I let it be said.
I will keep - this promise - is kept
Wanting to skip the faith part
It could just be an esteem crank
Lies from the inside
Love a fake
Keeping it is the easy part
Every step just follows the other
Envy those who don't need to
Promise to believe in and trust in another.
Priorities clash with pleasures
Reasoning gets shot
Obscure desire to temp fate
My insecurities forsake my fighting will
Indecent excuse
Something the 'old man' would say
Even still, I let it be said.
I will keep - this promise - is kept
Wanting to skip the faith part
It could just be an esteem crank
Lies from the inside
Love a fake
Keeping it is the easy part
Every step just follows the other
Envy those who don't need to
Promise to believe in and trust in another.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
mr squiggle
I believe god is a little bit like mr squiggle.. so often we give him a mess of little scribbles we started drawing and he turns them into a masterpiece.. Even if that means turning them upside down!
Monday, June 29, 2009
rainbow
The booklet asked me
if my reward is strong
enough to keep me
on track.
goal
I laugh
in the face of the booklet
assuming I'm just another hopeful
girl who is temporary in her task
results
I fight
A battle
Everyday
No 'reward' can maintain that spirit
But your promise does
if my reward is strong
enough to keep me
on track.
goal
I laugh
in the face of the booklet
assuming I'm just another hopeful
girl who is temporary in her task
results
I fight
A battle
Everyday
No 'reward' can maintain that spirit
But your promise does
Friday, June 26, 2009
halfway to forth
Last night I went to my local bar for a chill session with my housemate after a long and tiring last week of term.
When we got there we were stoked to see that a band from the coast, Halfway To Forth were playing. I first heard of these guys a year or two ago when I walked past them playing on the side of the road in a town called Penguin. The band is made up of two brothers, dan and kyle. Dan exchanges between a snare, tambour, and stomp pad setup, and guitar, along with mostly lead vocals. Kyle also has a great voice along with the skills of guitar and banjo. These brothers are pretty amazing musicians, and together they compliment each other creating what I would say is blues and roots awesomeness.
I love going to my local because it is always laid back and the crowd is 80% regulars with the other 15% backpackers and 5% drop-ins. It's always a good vibe- but last night was something else. Everyone was grooving to the sounds and loving the mix of covers and originals. At one point a guy called Zac Lister jumped up and whipped out an amazing cover of Billie Jean. That was a treat! Zac Lister was a bit of a musical legend in launceston over the past 4 years. I believe he has relocated to Melbourne and is playing in a three piece there. I could be wrong?..
Anyway, next time you are in the mood for some good live tunes, hit up the Halfway to Forth myspace page and get amongst the madness.
When we got there we were stoked to see that a band from the coast, Halfway To Forth were playing. I first heard of these guys a year or two ago when I walked past them playing on the side of the road in a town called Penguin. The band is made up of two brothers, dan and kyle. Dan exchanges between a snare, tambour, and stomp pad setup, and guitar, along with mostly lead vocals. Kyle also has a great voice along with the skills of guitar and banjo. These brothers are pretty amazing musicians, and together they compliment each other creating what I would say is blues and roots awesomeness.
I love going to my local because it is always laid back and the crowd is 80% regulars with the other 15% backpackers and 5% drop-ins. It's always a good vibe- but last night was something else. Everyone was grooving to the sounds and loving the mix of covers and originals. At one point a guy called Zac Lister jumped up and whipped out an amazing cover of Billie Jean. That was a treat! Zac Lister was a bit of a musical legend in launceston over the past 4 years. I believe he has relocated to Melbourne and is playing in a three piece there. I could be wrong?..
Anyway, next time you are in the mood for some good live tunes, hit up the Halfway to Forth myspace page and get amongst the madness.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
obviously
sometimes we dance around it
you think i tip-toe
i think you beat around it
but we both know
obviously - we just haven't found it.
you think i tip-toe
i think you beat around it
but we both know
obviously - we just haven't found it.
Monday, June 22, 2009
mr not-so-perfect
A part of me sees that side of you,
the shallow and selfish traits.
The rest of me sees the heart of you,
the selfless, faithful man.
A part of me likes that side of you,
it gives an unlawful right to judge.
I only hope that part in you sees the rest of me,
because my judgement I don't trust.
the shallow and selfish traits.
The rest of me sees the heart of you,
the selfless, faithful man.
A part of me likes that side of you,
it gives an unlawful right to judge.
I only hope that part in you sees the rest of me,
because my judgement I don't trust.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
hold
I will never understand how one conversation has had the power to completely take hold of me and change the course of my thoughts for years gone by and I'm sure years to come. I want so desperately to forget it, but more desperately to believe it.
At what point do you accept defeat and walk away from what you believed was right for so long?
Perhaps the day that it all seems so final, but I've been here before, and that day lasts but a moment in the grand picture.
And here I am again.
At what point do you accept defeat and walk away from what you believed was right for so long?
Perhaps the day that it all seems so final, but I've been here before, and that day lasts but a moment in the grand picture.
And here I am again.
kwit
Hollow thoughts repeating themselves
No substance
Distraction
Jealous heart denying itself
No mercy
Distraction
Dangerous words revealing themselves
No reason
Distraction
Hatred fire consuming myself
No right
No place
No need
No life.
No substance
Distraction
Jealous heart denying itself
No mercy
Distraction
Dangerous words revealing themselves
No reason
Distraction
Hatred fire consuming myself
No right
No place
No need
No life.
Friday, June 19, 2009
even the beautiful
Even the beautiful are scared
To let their skin feel the breeze
Cover me now
Before it's revealed
Mask my intentions and limit my words
They can't know I'm just a child
To let their skin feel the breeze
Cover me now
Before it's revealed
Mask my intentions and limit my words
They can't know I'm just a child
Thursday, June 18, 2009
morning tea
It occurred to me today that no matter what walk of life, or financial situation, or family circumstance, or religion, or career, or status- we all have desires and needs that nothing in this physical world can satisfy.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
feel
We can't touch them - but they touch us.
We can't control them - but they can control us.
They don't have an off switch - but they have the power to completely shut us down.
You can feel without acting, but you can't act without feeling.
Feelings change you, but it is often so hard to change a feeling.
You can't sell them
You can't walk away from them
You can't offload them without creating more in the process
You can't ignore them
You can't get plastic surgery on them
You can't adopt them out
You can't buy them
Cheap imitations don't last long
I like it that way. Sometimes.
We can't control them - but they can control us.
They don't have an off switch - but they have the power to completely shut us down.
You can feel without acting, but you can't act without feeling.
Feelings change you, but it is often so hard to change a feeling.
You can't sell them
You can't walk away from them
You can't offload them without creating more in the process
You can't ignore them
You can't get plastic surgery on them
You can't adopt them out
You can't buy them
Cheap imitations don't last long
I like it that way. Sometimes.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
for the now
I was young
He stood still
We talked about fear
On my doorstep
Literally
I was waiting
He was talking
We were growing
He was moving
I was vulnerable
He was firm
We shared and laughed
His words have stuck
Time has passed
In no time at all
I know I'm still waiting
Unfortunate fool
He stood still
We talked about fear
On my doorstep
Literally
I was waiting
He was talking
We were growing
He was moving
I was vulnerable
He was firm
We shared and laughed
His words have stuck
Time has passed
In no time at all
I know I'm still waiting
Unfortunate fool
Monday, June 15, 2009
My Escapade
I love music.
I also love it when good musicians come together and create a unique sound that represents a deep love for their art. A band called My Escapade have done exactly that! I strongly recommend you check them out. They have just posted their new video on this website
http://www.channelv.com.au/v/channelu/?ucode=U1266
If you like their video you can vote for it to be featured on Channel [V].
If you want to check out more of their tunes you can visit their myspace by clicking here.
Anyhow - I really dig their tunes.
I also love it when good musicians come together and create a unique sound that represents a deep love for their art. A band called My Escapade have done exactly that! I strongly recommend you check them out. They have just posted their new video on this website
http://www.channelv.com.au/v/channelu/?ucode=U1266
If you like their video you can vote for it to be featured on Channel [V].
If you want to check out more of their tunes you can visit their myspace by clicking here.
Anyhow - I really dig their tunes.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
guilty as sin
she's tried to rewind
unbutton and untie
a battle with greed
no sinner could deny
her thoughts riddled with guilt
a heavy mistake
retreating to her knees
bowing at his gates
she looks up to see
he casts no eye down on her
too close from far
so far from there
her soul lies shattered
his body once broken
give these words justice
live them as spoken
her sin a reminder
to live a sacrifice
because his gift was death
and his death equals life
unbutton and untie
a battle with greed
no sinner could deny
her thoughts riddled with guilt
a heavy mistake
retreating to her knees
bowing at his gates
she looks up to see
he casts no eye down on her
too close from far
so far from there
her soul lies shattered
his body once broken
give these words justice
live them as spoken
her sin a reminder
to live a sacrifice
because his gift was death
and his death equals life
Friday, June 12, 2009
adorable
I have some pretty crazy characters in my class.. they come up with some funny things that make me laugh.
Today a grade 6 boy made an honest mistake and introduced his creative writing story called 'The Adorable Snowman'.. It made his story awesome - all throughout his story the abominable snowman was referred to as the adorable snowman.. quite an unintentional comedic piece of writing!
There is another older boy who is constantly in my personal space - and today I asked (in a very polite, caring, and loving manner) to back off and stop getting all up in my grill!
His response was
"But I like your personal space - I like being in it"
And my personal favourite ***tune out now if easily offended***
The little legends in my class get all rugged up with hats and scarfs at this time of the year. The boys are quite loosely romantic and are always coming up with 'awesome' pick up lines and such.. recently there has been a bit of flirting going on and today is was 'scarf-based flirtatious activities' ... at one point one of the grade 7 girls tugged on the scarf of a grade 8 boy and pulled him in close to her face and pretended to kiss him.. the class erupted in fits of laughter and she was suddenly the coolest chick out there for coming up with such a smooth move... but the line that followed her smooth move is what made me almost lose it!
"When I grow up im going to tug a boy and then kiss him!"
terrible. but i had to laugh.
Today a grade 6 boy made an honest mistake and introduced his creative writing story called 'The Adorable Snowman'.. It made his story awesome - all throughout his story the abominable snowman was referred to as the adorable snowman.. quite an unintentional comedic piece of writing!
There is another older boy who is constantly in my personal space - and today I asked (in a very polite, caring, and loving manner) to back off and stop getting all up in my grill!
His response was
"But I like your personal space - I like being in it"
And my personal favourite ***tune out now if easily offended***
The little legends in my class get all rugged up with hats and scarfs at this time of the year. The boys are quite loosely romantic and are always coming up with 'awesome' pick up lines and such.. recently there has been a bit of flirting going on and today is was 'scarf-based flirtatious activities' ... at one point one of the grade 7 girls tugged on the scarf of a grade 8 boy and pulled him in close to her face and pretended to kiss him.. the class erupted in fits of laughter and she was suddenly the coolest chick out there for coming up with such a smooth move... but the line that followed her smooth move is what made me almost lose it!
"When I grow up im going to tug a boy and then kiss him!"
terrible. but i had to laugh.
skin deep
stretched like leather
worn and tired
holding all the life inside
tainted and dry
semi-precious and dated
this is what time has long created
inject!
inject!
you cannot be seen
strip back all the rust and see me as clean
i stand beside you
not touched or held
night cast its shadow
and time cast his spell
come in close so you can be heard
whisper - i feel your breath
no need to hear each word
worn and tired
holding all the life inside
tainted and dry
semi-precious and dated
this is what time has long created
inject!
inject!
you cannot be seen
strip back all the rust and see me as clean
i stand beside you
not touched or held
night cast its shadow
and time cast his spell
come in close so you can be heard
whisper - i feel your breath
no need to hear each word
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
temple
If today tells me this
that tomorrow is uncertain
it brings no new revelation
just another confirmation
That this moment is all
is the only proof we go on
because the future is but an ideal
for only this moment is real
If my body fails me
it gives my spirit strength
to hope for the ideal
with a purpose now I find
a reason to pray and trust and depend
because today is soon tomorrow
and tomorrow soon the end.
that tomorrow is uncertain
it brings no new revelation
just another confirmation
That this moment is all
is the only proof we go on
because the future is but an ideal
for only this moment is real
If my body fails me
it gives my spirit strength
to hope for the ideal
with a purpose now I find
a reason to pray and trust and depend
because today is soon tomorrow
and tomorrow soon the end.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
my eye view
I made a promise
Perhaps too soon
But I will follow it through
Trusting in you
I made a promise
We made it mine
A daily reminder
To let loose with time
I keep this promise
In secret I know why
But my pride takes face
And the promise is replaced
With a cover so superficial
Everyone is proud
Pride for pride
The true promise inside
Hidden from whispers
Gossip and lies
This promise is sacred
Behind those eyes.
Perhaps too soon
But I will follow it through
Trusting in you
I made a promise
We made it mine
A daily reminder
To let loose with time
I keep this promise
In secret I know why
But my pride takes face
And the promise is replaced
With a cover so superficial
Everyone is proud
Pride for pride
The true promise inside
Hidden from whispers
Gossip and lies
This promise is sacred
Behind those eyes.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
thankful
Let me start with this: I am not going to be able to justify my feelings in words.. but I will try!
Today I felt joy - not just happiness... but joy. Last night I was visiting friends in B-Town and got a text from my dad telling me he got a full time job.
I believe god had this all sorted. While dad was in the running for this Egypt job, I was praying for my family..that they would be together..even if that meant Egypt.
Dad went for this job not knowing where it was or what it was really about.. Turns out it is in our home town and he is perfectly trained for the position. He started full time on Friday.
The significance of this is that 11 months ago my 64 yr old dad was going to a have a job interview (he retired but decided he wanted to go back to work). The day before his interview he fell and broke his leg quite badly and life changed for him from that day on. He couldn't do anything for himself anymore and has only recently been able to put shoes on again.
This job is a massive thing for him and I could not be more thankful for my god and his amazing ways.. even though dad doesn't know it yet.
XxX Corrie
Today I felt joy - not just happiness... but joy. Last night I was visiting friends in B-Town and got a text from my dad telling me he got a full time job.
I believe god had this all sorted. While dad was in the running for this Egypt job, I was praying for my family..that they would be together..even if that meant Egypt.
Dad went for this job not knowing where it was or what it was really about.. Turns out it is in our home town and he is perfectly trained for the position. He started full time on Friday.
The significance of this is that 11 months ago my 64 yr old dad was going to a have a job interview (he retired but decided he wanted to go back to work). The day before his interview he fell and broke his leg quite badly and life changed for him from that day on. He couldn't do anything for himself anymore and has only recently been able to put shoes on again.
This job is a massive thing for him and I could not be more thankful for my god and his amazing ways.. even though dad doesn't know it yet.
XxX Corrie
Thursday, June 4, 2009
alright with me
I love to see you speak
Your words, muddled as they may be..
Say them loud and make it yours
You make perfect sense to me.
I love to hear your song
No need for a score or melody
The lyrics are your life
-Rise and fall of your talk-
As you share I am chased
As you trust i am caught
Capture me again
I love it when you do
When all the other voices cease
And all I hear is you
Your words, muddled as they may be..
Say them loud and make it yours
You make perfect sense to me.
I love to hear your song
No need for a score or melody
The lyrics are your life
-Rise and fall of your talk-
As you share I am chased
As you trust i am caught
Capture me again
I love it when you do
When all the other voices cease
And all I hear is you
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
your face is
Facebook.
It's rubbish.
I love that I can go on there and catch up with peeps from all over the place, particularly when my friends are all off traveling or getting hitched or having kids and other exciting things. It's great for that - but rubbish when people use it to cure boredom and post all their worries and opinions as status updates.
There is one girl who I used to get along with well. She's now married and living abroad. Her status is changed twice daily at least and is ALWAYS stating an opinion about someone or something. It sucks because I know she is so much deeper than her online character represents her to be. She comes across as a racist, ditzy, complaining, stuck up, spoilt, self obsessed, rich girl... But that's not at all what she is when you get her in the flesh for a chat! It's crazy- and- her pictures are all of her wide eyed, brows raised, perfect Hollywood smile rubbish... Makes her look like an idiot to me. Grrr. I often wonder if my online identity is representing me as a much different person to what I really am.
Dont get me wrong - I'm all for the looking your best in pics... But not when you start looking like a goldfish out of water who has just heard Andrew O'Keef call your name to play for 2 million big ones. No... That's when you stop looking good and start to look like an idiot.
It's rubbish.
I love that I can go on there and catch up with peeps from all over the place, particularly when my friends are all off traveling or getting hitched or having kids and other exciting things. It's great for that - but rubbish when people use it to cure boredom and post all their worries and opinions as status updates.
There is one girl who I used to get along with well. She's now married and living abroad. Her status is changed twice daily at least and is ALWAYS stating an opinion about someone or something. It sucks because I know she is so much deeper than her online character represents her to be. She comes across as a racist, ditzy, complaining, stuck up, spoilt, self obsessed, rich girl... But that's not at all what she is when you get her in the flesh for a chat! It's crazy- and- her pictures are all of her wide eyed, brows raised, perfect Hollywood smile rubbish... Makes her look like an idiot to me. Grrr. I often wonder if my online identity is representing me as a much different person to what I really am.
Dont get me wrong - I'm all for the looking your best in pics... But not when you start looking like a goldfish out of water who has just heard Andrew O'Keef call your name to play for 2 million big ones. No... That's when you stop looking good and start to look like an idiot.
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