2002

It is a mystery how I manage to forget or temporarily misplace memories that hold the reasons and ways I have become who I am in this moment.

In 2002 I had my life planned out. I was going to become a farmer's wife with lots of kids and take over MrFriends dads farm.

MrFriend was my closest mate. An innocent teenage companionship between two friends longing to be grown up and mature enough to make our own decisions, but not ready to embrace maturity. Neither of us were looking to live the Christian dream of getting hitched by 20 and popping out the first by 21..we were just keen to hang at the river and kick balls along the beach. My favourite memory was riding 4WDs around the farm and chasing cows around the paddocks.

A leader in our church decided to spook us out by making us watch DVDs about not kissing until you are married etc.. And suddenly our innocent friendship became awkward. Bit by bit it all fell apart. We were never in love-but we did love each other a lot. Looking back, it seems the simple suggestion of us being more than friends tore our relationship apart. Damn.

I forgot all about MrFriend until recently..it's been years since I thought about him. He is married now. To a friend of mine. I'm glad for him...but more glad for myself that I didn't end up being a farmers wife.

Strange, slightly awkward, and rather pointless blog post..but I just thought I'd share.

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