I know you are there
but I choose to ignore
because my little imagination
can't keep up anymore
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
le mar
even i
-won't settle for less-
am a castle in your sand
here you come
you got that confidence now
let's skip the part
where we dig for more
change your tide
let me know for sure
-won't settle for less-
am a castle in your sand
here you come
you got that confidence now
let's skip the part
where we dig for more
change your tide
let me know for sure
my mother warned me about you
you are the one she warned me about
her words, a tale of her own misfortune
just as her mother had said
her words told me nothing
her hold said it all
fully embraced by her
she warned me about you
beware of the one
who makes you want to feel
her words, a tale of her own misfortune
just as her mother had said
her words told me nothing
her hold said it all
fully embraced by her
she warned me about you
beware of the one
who makes you want to feel
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
christianarchy
Democratic, communist, dictatorship, capitalist, hippie freedom fighters, whatever... It hit my heart today that the laws and systems of this world fail no matter where they are or how they are executed or who by, because they are in the shadows of the devine law.
I was thinking about the hundreds of systems currently in place around the globe..the governing bodies that are there to create order, structure, justice and welfare..all of which fail and fall short of the demands of their people.
I always struggle at election time..hmm which one of the evils do I give my vote?! It seems no political party uphold the values that are important to me..or anyone.
Why? You would assume that with the multitude of leaders who have attempted such a task, we would have some answers by now as to how to govern a nation... Australia aren't doing too bad in my opinion, but that is in comparison to our neighbouring nations. However, if Australia were a stand alone case, I think I would say the system is a disgrace.
*disclaimer/ I know little or nothing about politics*
people are never quite satisfied with the bloke who is voted in to 'prime the country!' Why so? Well I'm going to break it down a bit, in my opinion. There are stacks of reasons why, but this is just one- a pretty important one!
I believe people are seeking someone or something to restore the damage done in the past from war, greed, racism, and injustice of any fabrication. People are looking for someone who will restore. I will say it again. Restore.
What is restoration? Look it up. Restore. Not 'cover up' or 'pay back' or 'make up for'...people need restoration, and that is why the issues of the past keep influencing their perspective on the goings on of today.
The only leader who can restore is God. If you seek restoration from anything other than God you will not be fully satisfied, rather settling for an imitation that has flaws and holes where pools of bitterness flow through.
Why am I saying this? Because it starts with you.. Not the leader of your nation.. It starts with you letting God govern you. Let Him restore.
I'm not saying that old Mr Rudd and co have no responsibility to acknowledge the past.. but God has the authority and the perfect design to restore our spirit - and He will, when we let Him govern our hearts.
What does it mean for your life to let God govern your heart...
Just a thought.
I was thinking about the hundreds of systems currently in place around the globe..the governing bodies that are there to create order, structure, justice and welfare..all of which fail and fall short of the demands of their people.
I always struggle at election time..hmm which one of the evils do I give my vote?! It seems no political party uphold the values that are important to me..or anyone.
Why? You would assume that with the multitude of leaders who have attempted such a task, we would have some answers by now as to how to govern a nation... Australia aren't doing too bad in my opinion, but that is in comparison to our neighbouring nations. However, if Australia were a stand alone case, I think I would say the system is a disgrace.
*disclaimer/ I know little or nothing about politics*
people are never quite satisfied with the bloke who is voted in to 'prime the country!' Why so? Well I'm going to break it down a bit, in my opinion. There are stacks of reasons why, but this is just one- a pretty important one!
I believe people are seeking someone or something to restore the damage done in the past from war, greed, racism, and injustice of any fabrication. People are looking for someone who will restore. I will say it again. Restore.
What is restoration? Look it up. Restore. Not 'cover up' or 'pay back' or 'make up for'...people need restoration, and that is why the issues of the past keep influencing their perspective on the goings on of today.
The only leader who can restore is God. If you seek restoration from anything other than God you will not be fully satisfied, rather settling for an imitation that has flaws and holes where pools of bitterness flow through.
Why am I saying this? Because it starts with you.. Not the leader of your nation.. It starts with you letting God govern you. Let Him restore.
I'm not saying that old Mr Rudd and co have no responsibility to acknowledge the past.. but God has the authority and the perfect design to restore our spirit - and He will, when we let Him govern our hearts.
What does it mean for your life to let God govern your heart...
Just a thought.
Monday, August 17, 2009
secreta
A tale of mischief
I'd rather not know
But you proceed to share the details
Make me promise to keep it on the down-low
I hate that you've told me
I despise the moral downfall
There are rules made for keeping
But it seems you've forgotten them all!
Don't tell ANYONE!
Ok, ok, I won't.
Just spare me the details
If you think I wanna know more - I don't.
Now the beans are spilled
and word is out
I kept my promise
But paranoid, you doubt.
How dare you accuse me
Of 'having a big mouth'
While being loyal to you
I betrayed myself
I hate that you told me
I hate that I knew
I hate that I said nothing
...but I still forgive you.
I'd rather not know
But you proceed to share the details
Make me promise to keep it on the down-low
I hate that you've told me
I despise the moral downfall
There are rules made for keeping
But it seems you've forgotten them all!
Don't tell ANYONE!
Ok, ok, I won't.
Just spare me the details
If you think I wanna know more - I don't.
Now the beans are spilled
and word is out
I kept my promise
But paranoid, you doubt.
How dare you accuse me
Of 'having a big mouth'
While being loyal to you
I betrayed myself
I hate that you told me
I hate that I knew
I hate that I said nothing
...but I still forgive you.
Friday, August 14, 2009
emo
Tonight i was chilling with some people i havent seen in ages, and some who i see all the time. We got chatting about blogs and it came up that a few of the people there read this blog. It's kind of strange knowing that people actually read what I crap on about, but cool too. So later in the evening a guy I know pretty well started talking to me about my poems on this blog. He said "you get pretty deep and personal and if I didn't know you well I would probably think you were some emo...Christian Emo'... Hmmm thanks? Ha..so now I'm blogging about that!
Well... It's funny, because I see my blog as the toned down version of my thoughts, and it's really quite a shallow representation of what I think about..because my thoughts are not for public reading when it comes to the deep ones. So, it was kind of strange hearing him say that I reveal a lot of deep stuff..but then he said 'I don't really know what you are talking about some of the time so I make up little stories and that is quite cool'..I liked that. My blog is one giant story (the poetry)... It all follows a theme and the story itself is quite a cool one. I love reading over my words because they represent the journey I've been on and I'm hoping you enjoy composing your own little stories to make some sense of it! It is like lyrics to a song that you don't really understand, but it means something to you - then you watch the film clip and suddenly you realise it means something different. I like lyrics best when they are my interpretation. So I won't explain my poems, I will let you interpret and think as you will.
Well... It's funny, because I see my blog as the toned down version of my thoughts, and it's really quite a shallow representation of what I think about..because my thoughts are not for public reading when it comes to the deep ones. So, it was kind of strange hearing him say that I reveal a lot of deep stuff..but then he said 'I don't really know what you are talking about some of the time so I make up little stories and that is quite cool'..I liked that. My blog is one giant story (the poetry)... It all follows a theme and the story itself is quite a cool one. I love reading over my words because they represent the journey I've been on and I'm hoping you enjoy composing your own little stories to make some sense of it! It is like lyrics to a song that you don't really understand, but it means something to you - then you watch the film clip and suddenly you realise it means something different. I like lyrics best when they are my interpretation. So I won't explain my poems, I will let you interpret and think as you will.
Friday, August 7, 2009
women
I am the inner strength,
the essence of this contender,
a sterling heart,
fragile and tender.
Feeding off love,
the fuel that burns,
an instinctual desire,
to invite the raging fire.
Built to withstand,
the blows and burns,
the stabs and strikes,
a welcome fight.
This part of me,
I did not know existed,
stands her ground when tempted,
shows her face, force and resistance.
The essence of woman,
the true hidden beauty,
is not the manicured perfection,
but her honour and duty,
to deny the imposters,
generous and misleading,
and stick with her promise,
to never stop believing.
The reason she fights,
waits and perseveres,
is not a call of the common,
but a choice her heart fears.
The essence of woman,
the meticulous art,
of protecting herself,
by hiding her heart.
the essence of this contender,
a sterling heart,
fragile and tender.
Feeding off love,
the fuel that burns,
an instinctual desire,
to invite the raging fire.
Built to withstand,
the blows and burns,
the stabs and strikes,
a welcome fight.
This part of me,
I did not know existed,
stands her ground when tempted,
shows her face, force and resistance.
The essence of woman,
the true hidden beauty,
is not the manicured perfection,
but her honour and duty,
to deny the imposters,
generous and misleading,
and stick with her promise,
to never stop believing.
The reason she fights,
waits and perseveres,
is not a call of the common,
but a choice her heart fears.
The essence of woman,
the meticulous art,
of protecting herself,
by hiding her heart.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
nasty
So tonight my ladies team played basketball, as usual for a Thursday evening. I have always prefered mixed team sports instead of all girls because of one reason - boys seem to play competitive but fair, whereas girls are just rude and bitchy, especially tonight.
These girls were something else.. I could tell from the start it was going to be a bad game but kept my cool and just went with it, until the ref started egging on the other team. Loser. His comments stirred up the girls enough to start taking it all a bit too seriously and before I knew it I was copping a ball to the face because one girl got a bit too into it. I was just playing the game! Nasty. Now I'm sporting a healthy shiner.
I don't get angry very often - never enough to actually show how I'm feeling. I'm that girl who goes silent and walks away from it. I stew over it for long enough to realise it's not worth stewing over, and then it's all over and done with. Refresh. Move on... But tonight I am left with such a bitterness towards the ref (not so much the girls), because he was so unfair and quite cruel. Do I speak up to the organisers? It bothers me that he works there and is meant to be the one moderating the game, but instead he is stirring up anger.. Hmmm I'm not usually one to 'complain' or write letters or make a fuss..but maybe I should.
These girls were something else.. I could tell from the start it was going to be a bad game but kept my cool and just went with it, until the ref started egging on the other team. Loser. His comments stirred up the girls enough to start taking it all a bit too seriously and before I knew it I was copping a ball to the face because one girl got a bit too into it. I was just playing the game! Nasty. Now I'm sporting a healthy shiner.
I don't get angry very often - never enough to actually show how I'm feeling. I'm that girl who goes silent and walks away from it. I stew over it for long enough to realise it's not worth stewing over, and then it's all over and done with. Refresh. Move on... But tonight I am left with such a bitterness towards the ref (not so much the girls), because he was so unfair and quite cruel. Do I speak up to the organisers? It bothers me that he works there and is meant to be the one moderating the game, but instead he is stirring up anger.. Hmmm I'm not usually one to 'complain' or write letters or make a fuss..but maybe I should.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
tried
loaded words that struck my core
I tried to shut them out
but bullet by bullet they sank my soul
until mercy stood up for her encore
flat on the slats
my time has come
to bare a beating of guilt and shame
mercy oh mercy show your face
let the onlookers stand to applause
the rope is tight
the hand is ticking
one more bullet is sure to kill
but mercy can only save so much
she needs a saviour, one that will.
I tried to shut them out
but bullet by bullet they sank my soul
until mercy stood up for her encore
flat on the slats
my time has come
to bare a beating of guilt and shame
mercy oh mercy show your face
let the onlookers stand to applause
the rope is tight
the hand is ticking
one more bullet is sure to kill
but mercy can only save so much
she needs a saviour, one that will.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
caught myself again
too easy to cave that way
when the lids don't open and the child won't play
so suddenly the shutters draw
when the drag is too strong and heart no anchor
caught myself again in time
a moment longer and this cruel knot would not have space to unwind
in the desperate days now
when I find myself this way
with nothing to cling to
no tracks left to trace
thank you for waiting
my saviour, my truth
because this constant debating
somehow leads me back to you
the sacred soul
I will never comprehend
how I can let my life be so low
but in the distant times
you are my closest friend
when the lids don't open and the child won't play
so suddenly the shutters draw
when the drag is too strong and heart no anchor
caught myself again in time
a moment longer and this cruel knot would not have space to unwind
in the desperate days now
when I find myself this way
with nothing to cling to
no tracks left to trace
thank you for waiting
my saviour, my truth
because this constant debating
somehow leads me back to you
the sacred soul
I will never comprehend
how I can let my life be so low
but in the distant times
you are my closest friend
being driven
I was at a thing my school do each week where one person gets up and does a little devo thing for the town. This was a few weeks ago - and it was the founder of the organisation who was doing the devo on this specific day.
I won't mention the name of the guy or the organisation, but let's just say that to most people involved with the place, this guy is pretty much their god. It's sad to say that, because I'm sure he doesn't actually want to be looked upon as 'the almighty leader' and I'm positive he is a pretty sweet genuine bloke who has done some amazing things...but... He is no different in ranking to you or I.
So...in saying that. I would now like to crap on about what he spoke about all those weeks ago.
His devotion was called 'being driven' and his posing question was 'what happens to you when you become driven?'.
Now...in my mind I was thinking that being driven was a good thing...and I actually think that he started out thinking that too, until people started saying stuff like 'I get quite selfish when I'm driven', and 'I become authoritive when I'm driven and people don't appreciate that'..
I sat there thinking that maybe my view on 'being driven' is completely different to theirs..
Mr speaker continued his devo and began highlighting all the bad things about being driven and concluded that it is best to remain with a focus of helping others and being hospitible to others needs.
Hmmmm... Now here's what I think about being driven.
We are like cars.
If you aren't moving anywhere, you can't be steered. So it is better to get those wheels moving and be heading towards something even if you don't know what it is yet.
And in regards to the whole 'focus on helping others and being hospitible to others needs' - yes, do... but... you might just be ripping off yourself and the world if you don't let yourself be driven by Gods amazing plans that NO ONE can match with their own. So...you have more purpose (I believe) than following around some guy who thinks he needs you to devote yourself to achieving the things he is driven to do.
Just a thought.
I won't mention the name of the guy or the organisation, but let's just say that to most people involved with the place, this guy is pretty much their god. It's sad to say that, because I'm sure he doesn't actually want to be looked upon as 'the almighty leader' and I'm positive he is a pretty sweet genuine bloke who has done some amazing things...but... He is no different in ranking to you or I.
So...in saying that. I would now like to crap on about what he spoke about all those weeks ago.
His devotion was called 'being driven' and his posing question was 'what happens to you when you become driven?'.
Now...in my mind I was thinking that being driven was a good thing...and I actually think that he started out thinking that too, until people started saying stuff like 'I get quite selfish when I'm driven', and 'I become authoritive when I'm driven and people don't appreciate that'..
I sat there thinking that maybe my view on 'being driven' is completely different to theirs..
Mr speaker continued his devo and began highlighting all the bad things about being driven and concluded that it is best to remain with a focus of helping others and being hospitible to others needs.
Hmmmm... Now here's what I think about being driven.
We are like cars.
If you aren't moving anywhere, you can't be steered. So it is better to get those wheels moving and be heading towards something even if you don't know what it is yet.
And in regards to the whole 'focus on helping others and being hospitible to others needs' - yes, do... but... you might just be ripping off yourself and the world if you don't let yourself be driven by Gods amazing plans that NO ONE can match with their own. So...you have more purpose (I believe) than following around some guy who thinks he needs you to devote yourself to achieving the things he is driven to do.
Just a thought.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
ladies size nine
Someone is playing a cruel joke on all the women in launceston with size nine shoes. A pair of joggers shouldn't be hard to find in size nine-but aparently the only pair left in the world (k-mart) is missing the left shoe. Fantastic. I thought I struck gold when I found cathy freeman spunky looking green joggers in size nine...but without the left shoe it was a bit of a rip off..so I settled for a pair of mens, fun. Probably should invest in some proper ones next time.
In other news- my brother turned 18 this weekend so we had a Baxter bash and had the whole family under the one roof for the first time in a while. Spent a day with all my bros and sisters and their partners (6 kids in the family in total)..interesting being the only single, felt a bit out of it all, as you do. It was a bit of a stab in the guts to realise that everyone is growing up and taking the 'appropriate steps' to securing a good future...and here I am living with mates, no savings, no long term plans, no house that I'm renovating...no recent business ventures...some would say I'm the black sheep, but I say I'm normal...but it would be a lie to say it didn't upset me a little. It's times like these when I could easily become too distracted by what the structures of this world say that I need... or I could take this as another reason to focus on what I know is true and worth waiting for..I think I'll take that option!
So it was lovely seeing my family, and I was so pleased to see my little bro celebrating with his friends, it's something quite special for an older sister to see her brother grow up into a man she respects a lot... I love that guy :)
The flu was gross but it's all gone now! Yay!
And finally - I bumped into a friend of mine in town on the weekend and he had just been to the dentist...people with numb mouths sound funny.
That's all folks!
Corrie.
In other news- my brother turned 18 this weekend so we had a Baxter bash and had the whole family under the one roof for the first time in a while. Spent a day with all my bros and sisters and their partners (6 kids in the family in total)..interesting being the only single, felt a bit out of it all, as you do. It was a bit of a stab in the guts to realise that everyone is growing up and taking the 'appropriate steps' to securing a good future...and here I am living with mates, no savings, no long term plans, no house that I'm renovating...no recent business ventures...some would say I'm the black sheep, but I say I'm normal...but it would be a lie to say it didn't upset me a little. It's times like these when I could easily become too distracted by what the structures of this world say that I need... or I could take this as another reason to focus on what I know is true and worth waiting for..I think I'll take that option!
So it was lovely seeing my family, and I was so pleased to see my little bro celebrating with his friends, it's something quite special for an older sister to see her brother grow up into a man she respects a lot... I love that guy :)
The flu was gross but it's all gone now! Yay!
And finally - I bumped into a friend of mine in town on the weekend and he had just been to the dentist...people with numb mouths sound funny.
That's all folks!
Corrie.
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