Desperate

Beholding Your beauty is all that I long for...

I love certain songs.. they get me pumped and thankful and fueled. This morning was amazing. A raw acoustic session.

I left feeling such a pull on my heart.

I am desperately wanting to encounter destiny. Im not sure I have ever felt so passionate about seeking the kingdom in all that I am and do. I often get confused about the choices I make.. if I take a wrong step will it throw everything out of whack? Today I realised that the only way to live is to live honestly and desperately seeking a kingdom hearted life. I have to trust that my feet will land on the right path.

Seedy Seedy

Tonight was funny..

It was such a contrast.

I spent hours sitting on a balcony overlooking the ocean and then the night sky in ocean vista.. it was gorgeous.. then I got a call from James as I was leaving to go and see him at the local Burnie pub scene.. I avoid it in general (its just too seedy).. but tonight I gave in and went to Greens where he was. I went in for bout 5 mins and during that time got touched on the butt by 3 old blokes and had a drink bought for me by another seedy fella. I left soon after!

It just occurred to me that this exact experience is what SO many of my friends hang out for every weekend.. they live for it!

Crazy.

The Low Down

So... I have been asked a lot lately "have you moved back to Burnie?"

I had a squiz at my blog and realised I havent really been that clear about whats going on in life for me right now.

So here it is..

im living in Launceston for another year. Ive moved into an awesome house with James and Josh, both mates from uni. I would say this has been the best move ever, because Im living with legends.

I travel back to burnie quite a bit on account of the friends I have there who rock my world - but no.. I havent moved back!

Travel - overseas.. yes.. that was a grand plan that was all the go for a bit there.. had a job in the UK all lined up but thats not happening until probably at least august 09 - perhaps later depending on the circumstances :-) BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!

Job - currently working but not as a teacher.. details are in an earlier blog.

Looking for a teaching position for next year.. but not really actively searching for one if that makes sense.

Umm what else is there.. not a lot. Hmm no other big news for the public eye.

So there you have it lads.. the updated life of the Coz.

trust

- thoughts about the past few months -

i like knowing i can be trusted with...things.. but I dont like that i continually am put in a position where i have to (but dont) break the trust of another in order to maintain the trust with the other one. i dont think people deliberately put me in this position, but its getting old. Im realising it is selfish on their behalf and manipulative too.. but to them, well, they just want to know things for their own sake.. not thinking about where that leaves me.

Its a tough one to balance, but I think im getting the hang of it!

a moral

yesterday started out pretty rough. I had a million things to do and not nearly enough time. On top of that, yesterday came with a lot of emotional crap too. I found out my close friend sarah and her family have been deported- leaving Saturday. I have been pretty close to her and her family over the past years and this was heart breaking news - especially for them!

So i found myself running around madly trying to sort everything out in time. in the words of sparkadia "toooooooooooooooooooooo much to doooooooooo, and there's not enough time"

Little things kept going wrong. Just when I thought I had it all set and everything done the car I was driving to the coast (sharons) decided to blow a few important fuses and this left me with no indicators.. I discovered this after wondering why i was suddenly being thrown abuse at every roundabout I came to.. note to self: check blinkers are working before attempting a roundabout maneuver.

So anyway.. a few friends had gotten together for a little bday tea type thing last night.. i arrived half an hour late to my own party.. bit flustered and not feeling up for a party.

Turned out to be a great night. my peeps are downright legends .. I bumped into lots of old mates over the night too.. thats one thing I love about Burnie.. always bump into someone I know! So that was fun.

watched this movie suggested by VT and Sarah - Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium. It was charming, quirky, witty and cute! I really enjoyed it.. and lets just say.. I now want to have one of those monkey teddies!

So that was fun also. then today was meant to be skydiving. i was SO pumped for it.. but unfortunately on account of the weather it could not be done.. no no no no no way jose! So the plan is to make a weekend of it heading to swansea (i think).. so in a way that will be mega good.. get to see views of a beautiful coastline and even get to land on the beach!

So my day was spent just hanging with peeps and watching the clouds.. then Bushman's 21st party. enjoyed it muchos.

i guess the moral of my ramble is that launceston is crap and burnie is good.

i still love launceston - just love the burnie people more :-)

New Job

YEY!

I finally scored myself the dream job.. I knew it was coming.. I could feel it coming throughout all the confusion and frustration.. it was there.. waiting for me.. ahhhh!

So I'm working as an In Home Carer/Tutor for 3 kids. Two twin boys (5yrs) and an 8 yr old girl. They are awesome kids too. Little dudes! I'm mega pumped for this adventure.

It means I have full time hours at a great pay rate in a job I love. Couldn't ask for much more!

That is all for today chipmunks.

xx