content

How is it that I can be content in my situation, and have things in my life that make me happy- but still not be satisfied?

I've been sitting in coles carpark eating a banana and some rice crackers in my car. While I've been chillin I've been observing and pondering and questioning and confusing myself.

People walking past me (I assume are husband in wife) not saying a word to each other, just plodding along into the supermarket to do the groceries just like every other time. Routine - something my life lacks a little, but I like it that way.

Today in the docs surgery the ladies behind the counter all had little black suits on and their hair all primmed and proper and their fingers were laced with a million different gold rings with big chunky stones sticking out of them. Their lips all had plum lippy perfectly applied and their nails were all long and painted the frenchy style. As I walked up to the counter one lady looked at me expectantly, and I looked back at her also expectantly... When did people stop asking how your day is and how they can help you? So I smiled and waited for her to ask.. It took an awkward moment or two but eventually she said "is there anything I can do for you?"..

Are people becoming a little numb?

I remember going to maccas a few years ago and there was a young chubby blonde girl working there, obviously her first day. She was bright and bubbly and so willing to help out as much as she could.. Not sure if she was just trying to impress her new boss or not but I felt like she genuinely wanted to serve me my cheeseburger.. Not something that's too common these days! A few weeks later I was at the same store ordering some deep fried health and that same girl was there doing her thing. It made me sad because it only took a couple of weeks for this young bright bubbly girl to lose the eye contact, the smile, the tone, and the evident attitude of a willing servant. It had numbed her.

So in conclusion to this random rant, I want to protect myself from ever becoming numb to my surroundings. I like my job because it keeps me actively thinking all the time and I get to be creative.. but one day I might get sick of that job..so I will try somethng else.. Who knows!

Bring on the randomness and bring on the journey.

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