who can count the amount of times i begged God to tell me
i never actually believed he would
i guess he either got sick of my nagging
or saw it as a chance to stretch me beyond hurt
always thought i would see it in the clouds
or a bird would drop a note through my window
perhaps an angel would visit and scare the shit out of me
instead you told me over general conversation
while sitting but three seats from the answer
ha.. i laugh at the simplicity of it all
at first i was cool with it
no real change in thoughts or feelings
if anything, a peace, accepting it as a 'maybe' thing
but now I am concerned
what if i am a fool to believe it
or a fool to not?
i believe in the power
i believe in the messenger
i have no doubt of the honesty behind the claim
i also have no doubt of the pain i would encounter if i choose to believe
- and if i chose wrong
who knows what the future holds
i have been given a hint - some hope -
but if i knew for sure, there would be no room for faith
and where's the hope in that?
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