another rant

I am just amazed at the ways God has chosen to protect me throughout my life. One of the ways I honestly believe he has protected me is by making me cynical.

This weekend I was on a leadership training camp thingy and I'm pretty sure I spoke up a bit too much and perhaps offended people who live in a smug little world of their own. I'm SURE these people don't actually believe what they are regurgitating, but are just so used to saying what pleases others and are stuck in that cycle of spewing out words that they have said a million times before just because they sound right... I'm positive these guys haven't actually thought about it - if they have I am quite sad.

I'm talking about young people who are trying so damn hard to fit in with what is the 'right' thing to do...and then older people not wanting to face facts that these young dudes are just copying what they do.. instead of having a conviction and actually believing what they are saying. I think I stepped on a few toes when I shoved a bit of reality into their thoughts this weekend.

At one point all of the senior leaders got together (about 10 of us) and we were chatting about what steps to take as far as programming and such. **I should mention - this is a leadership training camp that trains youth as cabin leaders on a christian camp for kids**. So we got talking, and a few people mentioned that 'devotion time' was good at night time for girls because it calmed them down and made them sleepy...and the boys said that it just didn't work at night for the guys because it almost had the opposite effect, with boys wanting to stay up late all night chatting. This began to frustrate me. The girls were crapping on about how effective it is blah blah blah and all I could think about was how INEFFECTIVE it was! Reality check - is the purpose of devotion time to 'calm them down so they get all sleepy and go to bed'?? And isn't it a good thing that the boys want to chat lots about it?

I probably got a bit carried away when I voiced my opinion - but seriously.. I think the idea of devotion time is crap if it isn't reflected over the entire course of the camp anyway. We shouldn't sit down in a group and flick a switch in us that says 'now we are going to be spiritual and holy and such'.. ugh. So I had my rant and they all looked at me like stunned mullets.

I don't do camps much these days - well.. sort of.. I go there as support staff to encourage leaders but that's about it. I used to have such a passion for camps (the kids) - but now I am finding myself passionate about the older ones.. the teens.. who are leading the kids.

Its funny - I did a workshop at this leadership training. As I was preparing for the workshop I really felt like I had nothing to offer - until I got up there and started going for it and all of a sudden I felt passion and I was literally saying things I had never considered before and the lights were coming on in the eyes of these youth. I just think its cool to feel passion.

I'm one of those people who is pretty self directed and does something if I feel its right - but as for passion, I have lacked in that department, and anyone close to me would know that when I'm asked what my passions are I get totally stumped and can't actually name any. I now have two. One is this young people kinda thing and the other is something I will share with you at another point in time :-)