OH BABY!

I am writing to you tonight from the comfort of my donga, known around the community as 'top donga' because it is located at the very top of the 'hill', that is really just a slope in the dirt. I am still sick from Ross River, with no real signs of progress.. other than it has now been a month and apparently this is the average length of time that the virus lasts. Technically I am still in the accute phase, which sucks. It hasn't hindered my time in my new surroundings though.. and this is good! I have had enough mobility and energy most days to check out the beautiful things around this community - even if it is by car. Im really looking forward to being able to go for walks and see it all again by foot rather than 4WD. Oh! I got bogged the other night.. on a secret mission to find lollies in the school.. managed to get into a nice boggy patch of the dirt road and lets just say our secret mission to find lollies was not so secret anymore!



The kids in my class are SO adorable. The first few days I really struggled to understand them, as they speak quite fast with a lot of kriol combined with minimal english, but now I am able to understand them very well, and even find myself speaking part kriol in class when Im stuck into my lessons. Its quite funny really. I went to the pub in the nearest town (almost 2 hrs away) last weekend for a meal, and I was shocked at how fast I was speaking and the way I kept almost reverting into kriol sounding language.. haha, this place really gets into your skin, in many ways..



The people here are amazing. I wouldn't say it has been a culture shock for me, more of an adjustment. The ladies here are very friendly and are interested in knowing who you are.. they dont speak much, but when they do, you know you are ok with them. The kids however.. they just throw themselves at you and talk a million miles an hour with a truckload of questions. A few days before school started I was walking around the school, and hadn't met any of the kids yet... I was walking to my classroom when I saw a girl with fuzzy hair sticking her head around the corner of a building peeping at me and then hiding when I looked at her.. I said "hello... whats your name? Can you help me find my classroom?" ....the next thing I heard was about 30 kids erupt with laughter and giggles and from all directions they came running out screaming and laughing their hearts out.. they all jumped all over me and played with my hair and my legs and my arms.. they were facinated with my 'wobbly bits' and my smooth legs. I was pretty much on the ground with all these kids jumping all over me asking me heaps of questions and wanting to know what I was carrying in my hands.. I ended up hanging out with them all outside my donga all afternoon giving them cold water to sip from plastic bottles and chatting about all their favourite things to do around here. They are just gorgeous. Most nights at least one or two groups of kids will come knocking, asking for 'justa cold water miss, and a little bit food?'.. it is a very special time of getting to hear their stories and learn about their culture.



I thought I would list some of my favourite things the kids have said to me so far:



"miss, why you got so fats guts? you like the fat cheeeeese?"



"your hair is a lubbly one miss"



One of the girls spotted a freckle on my arm and said "miss!!!.. you got a booty spot!"



"im paining in my guts - needa rest or shit...(I look at him in shock that he said "shit", and he says..) gaaaaaah sorry miss, a poo!"



When I was attempting a hiphop move that involves a bit of hip action, one of the boys got up and said "ah miss, that not dance, that a bad wiggle" and burst into laughter.. I joined him. It was ridiculous, and these kids have so many dance skills, not sure why i ever thought I could pull off more than just a bad wiggle.



Last night we had a 'killa', which is where the locals kill a beast to chop up and eat for the whole community. It was cool. The grade 10 blokes put on a bingo game and we all sat outside in the 49 degree heat playing bingo in the shade of the basketball court. After bingo and killa, the Walkabout Boys (a local band) played some tunes and the kids all ran around playing basketball and doing their hiphop moves to some country tunes pumping through the amps. The adults all stuck around, some getting up for a boogie, others just watching... I danced with the kiddies and held about 7 babies that were thrust into my arms over the duration of the evening. The babies are gorgeous.


So - it is safe to say that I am stoked with my decision to move here, and I am falling in love very quickly. I love the people, the culture, the artworks, the school, the staff, the isolation, the scenery, the sunsets, the animals, the bush tucker, the rivers, the waterholes, the heat... and even the hiphop music is becoming something I am enjoying more than I ever imagined I would!

I have some special friends I have made here. I intend to stay for a long time. They say it takes a special person to live here.. but I think 'as if you wouldn't!' I can't imagine why anyone would not want to live in this amazing place.

xxxx

Ross River

So I made it to Broome after a 14 hour drive in forty something degree heat with a busted aircon and a burst tube in the radiator. I became quite familiar with my cars engine that day. And my best friend was a roll of electrical tape. I whipped out a dodgy job on the burst tube and somehow managed to make it to Broome from Kununurra with only a few roll starts and three stops due to the engine overheating.

Since being in Broome I have met loads of people and really enjoyed my time relaxing and preparing for the year. I am constantly feeling that this was the right move to make. I know I am where I'm meant to be in this moment.

I met my new principal and staff crew over the week (bumped into one guy who is staying at the backpackers here and worked out he is one of the teachers). They are all very very nice and so supportive!!

Support is something I need at the moment because I've just been diagnosed with Ross River Virus. If you aren't familiar with it, it is passed on through mozzie bites and can vary in it's impact according to the individual. Unfortunately for me, I have lost a lot of movement in my small joints (fingers, toes, elbows, jaw) and it is very painful too. I also have a full body rash going on that looks like I've been eaten by little bugs. It's pretty nasty. There is no treatment as such, just pain relief, and is likely to last a month before improving. Sucks to be me. So I'm in bed resting up.

Looking forward to kicking it in the head and enjoying my year(s) at Yiyili!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

blogblank

So I've hit a bump in my blogging where there is just too much to write about so I just stop.

I'm currently in Darwin. To sum up my experiences in one sentence I would say:

I'm loving the travel, never bored, seeing all I could dream of seeing, meeting amazing people, missing time alone, yearning for a home, needing more quiet space, excited to adventure, probably been a bit too adventurous at times, wishing I was invincible, new found love for swimming, the heat is awesome, the rain and floods are more awesome, lightening and thunder are entertainment, frogs are not friends, and vodaphone is not either.

I'm sitting at a crossroads tonight between Struggle Street and Growth Grove. I think I need to hang a hard right onto Growth Grove after a good night sleep. Yiyili in 7 days and I can't wait!!

I get to see my place and set up but only staying one night. From there I cruise to broome for a week followed by training in fitzroy crossing for a week. So really, another three weeks on the road.

Now time to journal the stuff that won't make it onto this blog..in the words of a close friend "turning my emotions into a masterpiece"...hmmm or a mess of random thoughts.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

lingering dreggs of past experiences

in the vacant lot
stale and stagnant
a tiny tear falls
put away for safe keeping
she knows it is hers
lying still till sadness calls

her luring voice
sensitive and sweet
invites herself to the vacant lot
familiar, heavy, unwelcomed but strong
forces peace to leave and sits snug in her spot.

she imitates goodness
and fools me to believe
her binding lies of reason
a striking manner to deceive.

who is this thief who has stolen my hope
the voice singing of sorrow and despair
you will find her dwelling deep in my lot
-but I didn't invite her there-

you are not welcome and you will not stay
I'll know next time you call.

piss off 'sadness',
I won't prepare a bed for you
I'll just let the tears fall.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

touchy topic

Is it racism? Or culturism? Or socio-economicism? How about locationism?

When I tell people about my plans to go north and teach in an aboriginal community, they usually respond one of two ways...

1. 'That's awesome.'

Or

2. 'Why?'

There have been quite a few negative comments thrown my way by close friends recently..

"why would you bother living with people who will treat you like shit no matter how hard you try to fit in?"

"they are dirty and rude-you won't last"

"surely you could have found a job somewhere else?"

Now, I'm not naive..I know this is going to be a challenge.. And I know that the culture is going to shock me.. But these comments are made with a vicious undertone of judgement and ...anger?

Similar things have been said by supportive friends and I've felt encouraged. It isn't so much the words, it is the intention of their impact.

I'm not too bothered by the amount of negative feedback I've received because it is massively outweighed by the support and positive comments, but it just makes we wonder..

I honestly don't think it is all racism..I think people would make the same comments if I said I was moving to a prodominently non-aboriginal community in the same location...same economic background and population size. Obviously there is also an element of racism too. It worries me that it is acceptable in our culture to make these comments, and that it is almost unacceptable to dispute them.

In my opinion - every community in the world has its challenges. I am looking forward to enveloping myself in a culture I'm yet to experience... challenging as it may be.

Thanks to those who are supportive..

And bigger thanks to those who aren't- because you are reinforcing how important it is that I go.. and your comments just make it easier for me to leave.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

2002

It is a mystery how I manage to forget or temporarily misplace memories that hold the reasons and ways I have become who I am in this moment.

In 2002 I had my life planned out. I was going to become a farmer's wife with lots of kids and take over MrFriends dads farm.

MrFriend was my closest mate. An innocent teenage companionship between two friends longing to be grown up and mature enough to make our own decisions, but not ready to embrace maturity. Neither of us were looking to live the Christian dream of getting hitched by 20 and popping out the first by 21..we were just keen to hang at the river and kick balls along the beach. My favourite memory was riding 4WDs around the farm and chasing cows around the paddocks.

A leader in our church decided to spook us out by making us watch DVDs about not kissing until you are married etc.. And suddenly our innocent friendship became awkward. Bit by bit it all fell apart. We were never in love-but we did love each other a lot. Looking back, it seems the simple suggestion of us being more than friends tore our relationship apart. Damn.

I forgot all about MrFriend until recently..it's been years since I thought about him. He is married now. To a friend of mine. I'm glad for him...but more glad for myself that I didn't end up being a farmers wife.

Strange, slightly awkward, and rather pointless blog post..but I just thought I'd share.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

stones

So.. Jesus goes for a walk along a stony road with his disciples and tells them each to pick up a stone to carry. John picks up a large one and carries this, while Peter picks the smallest stone to carry. Smart idea? Well.. I guess he wasn't struggling to carry it.. and he was still obeying the commandment of Jesus, right? John, however, chose the big heffa stone to carry and is most likely struggling to lug the over sized chunk of Earth with him. I can just imagine them walking along the road.. Peter probably slipped his stone into his pocket or playfully tossed it as he walked along the road, whilst John sweats and aches carrying the large stone. They get to a point where they are hungry and tired from their walk and Jesus says 'stones..turn into bread' and bamshabam each of the stones carried by the disciples turns into bread. Obviously Peter's stone being small is not enough to satisfy him, so John shares some of his with him. Jesus then says, 'lads, choose another stone, we are going to walk again'... so Peter, feeling as though he has this all worked out and knows how the game runs chooses a massive stone. He struggles along carrying the stone believing the at the end of the walk he will be rewarded for his efforts. When they stop, Jesus says 'throw your stones in the river' and Peter is left dumbfounded. I can imagine his frustration and confusion, because he had struggled to carry this stone all the way and then WHAT THE?!?! What good is a stone thrown in the river?? Jesus turns to Peter and says 'Who did you carry this stone for? For me?... or for yourself?'

SO many times in offering sermons I hear the same old, 'God doesn't need your money, but what a blessing it is to give to him! Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Isn't it wonderful knowing that our offerings are refunded ten fold?! Let's give church, lets give give GIVE'.

Yes - cool.. give ten percent.. that is great.. but if our motives for giving aren't 100% out of pure desire to give without the expectation of receiving.. then surely we are being just like Peter was that day on the stony road? If we carry a heavy load in life expecting that blessing will follow... and aren't prepared to carry that same load purely because it has been asked of us.. aren't we doing a Peter? I believe God blesses. No doubt about it. But I don't believe we can earn his blessing or his favour. It is already there. We can't become MORE blessed.. we just become more aware of our blessings. He doesn't favour or love us more according to what we do.. we just learn to recognise his love. I feel most blessed when my attitude is 100% for the kingdom. Let me define what I mean by 'blessed'... I'm not talking an extra $100 in my pay packet, or winning a small lottery, or being given gifts, or anything human in fact.. When I think of blessing, I think of that indescribable feeling/knowing that I am connected to God in a way I simply can not explain. Somehow, in the times I am fighting against a million blows and burns coming at me, I feel most blessed. There is power in knowing that I am capable of forgiveness in the most unforgiving circumstances, that my heart attitude towards life's blows and burns is what gives me reason to carry the stone..

I stuff up. All the time. I say 'yes..erm.. it is ok that I am struggling with this now because I know it will all work out and I will be so much better off because of it and wow, how much is God going to bless me after this!?'... it is quite a common thought pattern. I think back to the stony road. Hope is good. And Peter hoping for a nice chunk of bread at the end of the road is fine.. in fact it is great.. hoping in God for fulfillment and blessing is wonderful.. but simply living knowing that you are blessed already, and that you don't need to earn it, that is when you carry that heavy stone without even considering opting for the smaller one. That is how I want to live.


Just a thought.